KrissyRN, Welcome to the Depression Center! We hope you'll be able to find the additional support you need here. Start browsing through our site, our tools and our forums. Feel free to ask questions, are moderators are always here to respond. Keep us posted and thank you for sharing your story with us. Danielle ____________________________________ The Depression Center Support Team

Welcome KrissyRN, It's been a long time since I've gotten on this site, then for some reason I just wanted to chat with someone and I picked you. I have so many similarities in your diagnosis, meds, sort of career except I am at 20 years older than you. I too was diagnosed in my 30's wit MDD after a hospitalization, then not until a more current hospital stay my psychiatrist finally said he believes I really have bipolar disorder type II with hypomania. I felt devasted to tell you the truth. I thought I would much rather just be depressed like heck than to have a lifelong mental illness. I'm still not sure I really have this or maybe I am in denial due to all the stigma. I feel the need to hide this illness due to the fact that most people tend to look down on those with a mental illness, what a shame. You seem to have alot more put together than I was at your age, back then you just did drugs, drank too much and continued on with so much risky behaviors. If I can accept that I really am bipolar, then maybe my past life will make more sense to me. I am on so many medications right now I could scream. My psy has given me mood swings meds lamictal and tegretol, antidepressant med wellbutrin xl, antianxiety meds klonopin and buspar, and even an antipsychotic med abilify, plus a sleep med ambien. Did I forget any? Ha Ha! well I am really glad to meet you and congratulations on almost completing your RN classes and moving on with your life. I hope to be able to do the same and be where you are emotionally. I found something you said earlier quite enlightening, the fact that you were depressed and then had symptoms of bipolar disorder. ***Most peole are first diagnosed with MDD for at least 10 years or more before the psychiatrist even recognizes that the person may just be bipolar. Another thing I learned was that if you are truly bipolar and the doctors treat you as only MDD and give you anti-depressant, that person is at high risk of becoming more manic. So the correct diagnosis is very important in order to prescribe the right mixture of meds to become stable. I am still not there yet. Well I like to talk to, I am sure you can tell. To those I haven't kept in touch with I am so sorry, in just 3 weeks, I have been experiencin

Hi, I am in my twenties and currently in nursing school. I've been fighting depression/irritability/anxiety/crazy mood swings since I hit puberty at around 15. I didn't get help til I went to college. I had to drop out due to my depression, and then after several months of wallowing at home, I decided to go to nursing school. (I didn't quite know how to fix me...so I ignored it and refused to see anyone.) I decided just to get back on an antidepressent, and so I convinced my GYN to prescribe me something...which she did. I then self medicated after that convincing different doctors to change my dosage or give me something else. Well..it wasn't working. I met a friend at nursing school who was bipolar, and she referred me to her counselor/psychiatrist. it took me months of slowly going down the tubes and ignoring it emotionally before I made an appointment. I broke down in my first meeting with Em (counselor). We decided to pull me out of school for eight weeks (one semester) and I was enrolled in an Intensive Outpatient Program for women. I went three times a week and learned DBT and also saw their psychiatrist once/week and a counselor once/week. It was a rough time...I got real close to being hospitalized but was able to avoid it. So, I'm new to all the doctors...well all the doctors telling me what meds to take. I'm used to running the show. I've now been through Paxil, Lexapro, Lamictal, Prozac, Seriphem, Zoloft, Depakote, and Topamax. On top of that, they can't decide what to call my illness...I'm either MDD NOS (not otherwise specified) or abnormal major depression or mild Bipolar Type II or Bipolar NOS. I'm back in school now, although constantly getting used to meds has wiped out my personal life with school being so busy. I'm involved in my church and feel loved and needed there. My family has been supportive, and school is great to keep my busy...also my goal is almost in sight. I graduate in seven months. I'm doing well. Well enough that I can function almost normally again. I LONG for the day when I get stabalized on a med, any med, PLEASE! as long as it works. I use my DBT skills almost daily and work with Em, pray a lot, depend on the Lord...and try not to freak out any guys that ask me out on dates. I