I am new here and wanted to introduce myself. I'm 37 and have been treated "aggressively" since 2000 for depression. I have been hospitalized 4 times since 2000 with the last time in 2001.
I was initially diagnosed with depression at 17. But I was able to pull things together for brief periods of time and avoid treatment, which I considered an evil of some sort, until 1996. I was in treatment off and on and did not function. And I mean did not function--on the couch or in bed except to eat for basically 2 years. I did get some treatment, got marginally better, and then went through a divorce in 2000.
Since then, I can't really say that treatment has been very helpful. The longest I have held a job is 11 months. When working, I am a professional in management. I have been evicted 5 times mostly because I don't work enough to make enough money to pay rent. I do not have friends. The ones I make I have for less than a few months. I don't date like a typical person--I use to meet a few guys on line, date awhile, then get dumped.
Currently, I'm unemployed, living in temp housing, no insurance and I really do not do anything but move from bed to couch, walk my dog 2ce a day, go to the free clinic once a week, and on online. I sleep about 15 hours a day. I see a resident that is suppose to be overseen by an attending. But about 1.5 months ago I "fell through the cracks" and in spite of 15 phone calls from my pharmacy and I don't know how many from me, the clinic let me go off all meds cold turkey! I had been on Effexor and Wellbutrin for about 5 years.
Now I take 30 of Cymbalta that I just started two days ago, 150 Wellbutrin XL, which I have said repeatedly the XL doesn't work for me only SR, and .5 Klonepin as needed.
This is no way to live. You can't even call it living! It's exisiting and a miserable existance at that. I asked the resident about adding something like Strattera or something from that class since I have never tried anything like that and she said we'd have to wait and see. I am getting desperate to be able to function at any level! Oh the diagnosis has always been chronic depression.
I look forward to participating here and really would like to believe that there is a purpose for all of this...
