Hi there. Sorry but I'm not able to be perky tonight. I've been reading a lot here at the Depression Center for a while, and tonight I decided to post. I'm 41, and I have been living with depression for 30 years. Of course, it wasn't diagnosed until ten years ago. Depression is not "acceptable" in my family, so I pretty much live with it alone. I was married for 16 years; my divorce was final this past August - my husband couldn't understand depression either.
If I don't pretend to be happy when I'm around my family, they get mad at me, so I spend a lot of time pretending. It's quite brutal, to be honest. Thankfully, I don't have children, although that is also a result of depression in part - I was too afraid to have kids and have them inherit this illness from me. I would not wish it on my worst enemy.
See, I said I couldn't be perky tonight! Over the years I have had plenty of therapy, and for the most part I took Prozac. The combination worked well enough to enable me to keep pretending for a while, but eventually I couldn't take it. I ended up in hospital a year and a bit ago, but I couldn't tell anyone in my family because it would have upset them. After that, I started seeing a psychiatrist who ultimately weaned me off all meds and pronounced me well. Now I am med-free, therapist-free, and feeling pretty low.
I'm glad to find this site, this community - I know this is a place where everyone "gets it". It is so so SO hard to live amongst people who do not get it. Thanks for allowing me to pour out my heart in an "introduction" post - too much info maybe!?!
