G'day jinnyann,
I am new here too. I'm a forty something year old australian anglo woman, no kids.
yeah, sexually assaulted in childhood.
(imagine me passing you a lovely hot cup of something, exactly the way you like it. - mines licorice tea)
..
and we sit here side by side in a safe place
.....lots of long pauses here. This is normal.
I remember the first time as a child, in that situation trying to die, to stop the fear - it made sense.
Now as an adult - i read what you say - and i want you to live. don't let the *&^%$#@ abusers win.
jinnyann - you are not alone.
when i read what you say,it is like looking in a mirror,
one day at a time, one minute at a time. just keep breathing
it DOES GET better, there was a time i was swamped in memories and pain and court proceedings and pain and memories.
gradually with time and work and the right help (keep looking until you get competent help!!) IT DOES GET BETTER
Now i have times when i can just live in the day - notice the colour of the leaves, smell the flowers in my neighbours yard,
even pick up a bit of knitting and remember past the bad times to my darling grandmother
and for a while i can live surounded by emotional comfort, calm and peace are there for me..and it takes practise.
wishing serenity for you
