Confused, Don't be too hard on yourself. Keep taking it one baby step at a time and look at the small victories. They are the ones that get you towards the bigger goal. You can do this, just takes time. Hang in there. Danielle _____________________ The DC Support Team

Hi You sound as though you are in a similar frame of mind to me. I'm so frustrated with myself for not being able to pull myself through this, but it takes all my energy, it seems, even just to do the things that were once automatic. You also sound like a very strong and determined person, in that you're taking great steps to actively get yourself past this episode. To be caught in the spiral with the gastritis must be intensely aggravating for you -- have you thought about tackling one thing at a time? I realize that they are interconnected, but looking at everything at once must be overwhelming. Thanks for sharing your story. Janice

Hello mmasseychase, I just signed up and introduced myself and then I read your story. I reckon we got a few things in common also about the symptoms we share. I wish youll get better! I would like to see a healthcare professional, too. But being in Australia where evrything is paid private (UNI, living etc.) I just dont find time and money to see a doctor- Im also not an Australian citizien. However, I hope Ill manage without a doctor and would like to hear from you how you doing and cope. As were even the same age and both had a s**t upbringing, I feel like I want to get to know you better and your problems and support you- Good luck and looking forward hearing from you!

Mmasseychase, Welcome to the Depression Center and thanks for sharing your story. Please start working through our CBT program. It is located in your session diary. It will teach you a lot about depression and it's effects on you in various aspects of your life. If you'd like additional assistance for your panic, we have a great sister site that may be of help to you: www.paniccenter.net We hope to hear from you again soon. Danielle ______________________ The DC Support Team

[font=Arial]So I'm new here and have already replied to a few other people's posts but thought I had better share my own story too. I am 22 and currently suffering (and suffering is the right word!) MDD (major depressive disorder), GAD (generalized anxiety disorder), agoraphobia to a degree and something which resembles IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). Oh what joy! This is my 2nd depressive episode - my first struck when I was 16, I lost my job, split from my boyfriend, got kicked out of home & was diagnosed with chronic gastritis. Add that to the very early trauma of being abandonded, fostered and finally adopted and mix in some (adoptive) family history of abuse, alcoholism, PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and depression. Man, you've got once mixed up kid!!! I managed to somehow survive my first episode but once this second one started looming I realised that none of the issues were really resolved. They were identified, talked about and understood - but then only watched as I waited for the storm to pass. This time I realise that I need to be in control of the weather and not just wait it out. So far the last 3 or 4 months have been a *daily* struggle. It is usually a mammoth effort to get through an hour, let alone a day. I get bouts of bawling, where I can't keep the effort anymore and I cave in, sobbing that it's enough, I can't do it anymore. I lose hours just lying in bed staring out the window. My social life has plummeted and my partner sometimes strugges to keep his footing under this burden I share with him. On top of that I endure almost constant pain of some degree as my stomach and bowels knot themselves up with stress - I have no idea if I have IBS or whether all these physical symptoms are 100% stress related. Either way, it's all a vicious circle. My illness makes me depressed and anxious (because I never want to stray too far from a toilet, nor stay out in public too long) and my depression and anxiety worsens my illness. I never experience any thoughts of death or dying but I often feel like giving up. Fighting depression and anxiety is exhausting on all possible levels and I falter all the time. I get frustrated and angry at myself because I'm young and good looking, successful, intelligent and can be so energetic,