Hi, I guess I'm not new to depression. I must have had depression from very young as I can't recall ever really feeling happy. It all boiled to a head when my oldest son (still at home) started taking advantage of a good situation and stopped going to work. My husband blamed me for our son's attitude and put everything on my shoulders to "fix him". At the same time I was transitioned out of my job while assigned to a project. While I was doing on this my boss out sourced my role permanently, so I was left in a job that I didn't particularly enjoy. I became a workaholic to avoid going home, I would sit in my car after work and think about hooking the exhaust up into the trunk. The only thing that stopped me was that if I was gone my kids wouldn't survive with my husbands attitude. I went to the doctor because I was always tired and couldn't concentrate at work, he dignosed me with depression. To that point I never thought that I was depressed. It's been over two years now I'm in the same job, assigned solo to a project that seems doomed to fail. I just had a relapse, not as bad as before, but my meds have been increased and I am going back for consoling. I am hoping this forum will help as I do not have anyone I can talk to about my condition other than the doctor. My sister doesn't think I have depression and it is hard for people who have not gone through this to relate to my condition. I am hoping I can work through my underlying problems so I can be free from taking medicaiton in the future.
