Capa: My memories of graduate school are that everyone had the motivation/procrastination problem to some degree. It's just not natural to be so isolated in your work. Most other people have co-workers doing the same or similar stuff and that keeps people going. I remember saying once to a non-student friend that I had spent the day watching Oprah, their reaction was to be envious and think I had it so great. My response was that if I watched TV all day it was a bad day, a really bad day and I felt horrible, really desperate at the end of it. I don't think they ever really understood. The great thing was that other grad students understood exactly how awful that kind of a day can be. But you had to get over the fear that everyone else is doing wonderfully and you're the only one struggling. Reality was we were all worried we were doing it wrong and that just seemed to be part of the process for 90% of us. One thing I found helped was looking up some tips on surviving grad school online. I found one thing which said don't expect to write pages and pages or for hours and hours every day (which I tended to think I should, put in 8 hours like everyone else). But writing doesn't work that way. You simply won't get lots done, but if you keep doing smaller amounts you can really get somewhere. Then again, I may just have been procrastinating.... Good luck with the process Ava

Hi Confused and all, Thanks so much for your reply. You have a lot of good advice...I just hope I can get the energy to try some of it! I've always thought that no one else could possibly be as bad as me about this kind of thing. I know intellectually that this behavior (well, to the extent it has reached now ) is due to my major depression, but I still hate myself for being so lousy that I can watch the news/drive to Target/whatever, but I can't sit down and just do what I need to do. I must be a horrible, lazy, stupid person. I know that's not right, but it's hard to not feel that way sometimes. Anyway, thanks again for your reply.

Hi capa, Welcome to the site. Thanks for sharing these concerns here with us. Your fellow member confused has offered some great suggestions for helping with procrastination - starting with smaller goals is really good way to get started before moving on to bigger projects. For dealing with your depression and anxiety, please take the time to check out the free online program offered here. The core of The Depression Center is our Depression Program which is an interactive, 16-session cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)course. When using cognitive behavioral therapy, each person has unique goals in their treatment. Whatever your motivation, cognitive behavioral therapy is a very effective treatment for depression. You can use the tools whether or not you are taking medication, and whether or not you are currently seeing a therapist or mental health professional. The Depression Program has a number of tools and resources to help each individual overcome their depression and win. Keep us posted on your progress. Casey ________________________________ The DC Support Team

Hi capa -- wow, someone like me. I guess that we're never as unique in our vices as we think. You're going to hate me saying this (how many times have you heard it before?), but I've found the only way I can get myself going is to do one small bit. I choose a small part that I enjoy doing and/or that has a right or wrong element to it, like a chart, diagram, the references, the title page, or I set a small amount of time, say 15 minutes, to work and then somehow convince myself to do it. Often the looming deadline would be stress enough for me to actually write the paper, but if that's past a few times and your profs are being understanding... well I'd be up the creek in that situation. It's as if something inside me wants to know how far I can push these caring people who believe I can do it before they'll give up on me. As if I actually want them to give up on me to confirm my belief that I'll never be good enough. Crazy, eh? Setting deadlines before the actual deadlines or having someone call every day or every few hours to check on progress may help. One time, someone actually stood behind me as I worked to make sure that I didn't stop. Talk about anxiety!!! Ultimately, I suppose, it's challenging that voice inside you that's telling you that you cannot begin. You can, you just don't want to, or are afraid to for whatever reason. You have the strength inside you to resist that tempting voice, to calm that panicked being. You wouldn't be almost finished grad school if you were unable to do the work, so pull out that strength. You know that it doesn't have to be perfect, that you just have to get something -- anything -- in so that they aren't forced to give you zero. Actually, sorry, ultimately it's realizing that this moment you are in is only one in a lifetime of moments. If you're getting to crisis level over this, step away. It's a piece of paper. Yes, it would be good if you could just get it done now, but pay attention to the cost to yourself and your health. (Your doctor may be able to get you a break or a longer extension so that you can find your footing again.) I realize that I'm making it sound very simple when I'm sure there are so many complex issues and expectations tied to your schooling that stepping away for a bit isn't

I have always procrastinated, but in the last six months it's gotten out of hand. (I go to counseling for MDD, & we are trying to find the right meds, etc.) Anyway, I technically finished grad school a month ago, but still have 2 incompletes - have to write/finish a few papers. My professors know, since I talked to them about the situation, but time's running out. But I CANNOT get myself to begin. Not that I don't think about it every minute of every day. Can anyone please help me find a way to motivate? I have to get these done, and soon! The anxiety and depression are getting to crisis levels...