fallen:
I don't know if I was codependent, but I did have to work on relationship issues and I did find it really helped to speak with people here, who take your issues seriously and who share many experiences. And you can post here whenever you like and you don't need wheels to do so, so welcome to the most accessible group around.
I found the thought records worked for me, but I did work against them at first. I could logically fill out all the sections but I would still feel miserable (habit? enjoyed it? just contrary?). But I think it does start to change things, like melting a glacier, it starts underneath where you can't see it, but gradually shifts things in big ways.
In the end I am just impressed with your managing all the things you're doing, and I hope it gets easier
Ava