i have suffered on and off with depression for many years and currently feel that everything is out of my control, this episode has been different to any other that i have had and it has left me very scared and confused. As a result of this, i have been starving myself, and i mean really starving myself until i get some strange satisfaction from collapsing.I have been doing this for a month now, some days eating nothing at all, other days i will eat maybe 2 crisps, and surviving on hundreds of cups of coffee, but i am now considering cutting them out too just to prove i can control that, i know i need help, but i am so scared.