hi patrick, glad to be of help. Hi Gang! Today I have swung to the other side! I am great! I am not sleepy at all so I am not nodding off in traffic and at my desk! I want to spend all my pay... on a new matress (mine is 15 yrs old) I want a whole bunch of new beads to play with on the weekend... I want to go to the hbi/wonder bra sale on the weekend... I want to, to, to take off and have some fun! [b]Drinks are on me !!![/b] :p So what do I do? I went on line and paid the bills WITHOUT reajusting my budget to fit in a whole bunch of this nonsense! I got into money trouble last month like this. I want to run away. I hate this because I do not know if it a caffine high (my computer dept makes extra stong coffee sometimes that I chug down without realising it) if it a medicine high ( I took the seroquil and effexor 4 hours late) or if this a hypomanic state. I can be careful... I am not manic in the sense I AM SUPERMAN it is just as though I have had two or three glasses of wine with a small appetiser; some inhibitions are left on the curb. The worst I have done is give too much personal info to coleagues! to top it off my family's virus is attacking me so my ear is blocked and my throat is sore. aaarrrgggh!

Wildcat, Thanks for the succinct breakdown of the dopamine factor and exercise. You've made it much clearer in my mind now.

Wildcat, Totally normal. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Danielle, Bilingual Support Specialist

REALLY? I thought I was "dans les patates". This is really new to me and I seem to be taking a long time understanding it all.

Thanks for sharing. Lots of valuable information here! Danielle, Bilingual Support Specialist

Hi, I spent the evening at a lecture hosted by a local support group for people with anxiete problems... it was like anti-depressants 111 -remedial level. It was a very interesting talk. Okay, all general information and lots of statistics but it helped me to understand why I need certain medications and why I might need them long term. For one Bi-polar downs Tend to be deeper that unipolar depression and are melencolic - Very hard to find and feel any pleasure. Another, certain anti-depressants work on our brain's serotonin, others on the noradrenalin and few on the dopamin (reason we need to force selves to do exercise). also, those who have had 1 major depressive bout have a certain precentage of having another. THose who have had 2 are at about 75% risk of having aanother... and those who have had 3 bout are at +90%... Well I need medication, I need it long term - years- because I am in the third category. At least I know why and can plan my treatment goals in light of this! My children have less than 35% chance of inheriting and learning this illness. ANd I can give them the tools they will need if they do develope this as I and my father did. I looked over session 2, here, today. I guess I finally am grasping the need to take action. Exercise stimulates parts of the brain that depression affects (and shrivels up). I need to to take action even if I do not "feel like it". Motivation gets shot by depression so I will not feel like it any time soon. But I need the benefits to help my healing, so I need to force myself to take that afternoon walk and the weekend hikes and the special trip to the pool (Canada is a cold place!). This my summary... -1- the brain rewards itself with dopamine. -2- the depressed brain has a chemical imbalance and dopamin is affected. -3- few medications can affect dopamin. -4- acomplishments and physical efforts cause the brain to release dopamine. -5- need to force body to release this feel-good stuff so need to stimulate body with attainable goals and exercise. Finally, I learned that what slows down neurons from sucking up the serotonin too quickly slows down our metabolism - digest food more slowly, use calories more slowly, eliminate waste more slowly And gain weight REALLY quickly! it's 11pm here so good night.

Wildcat, Hang in there. Keep talking to us. I'm a bit clapped out myself this evening (6hrs later than North America- east coast)but I was moved by your post below. I'm thinking of you and will write more later. Patrick

Hi wildcat, Thanks for sharing this here with us. Try not to be disappointed with the fact that your doctor has referred you on to a specialist. They are ensuring that you get the most appropriate care. I know it has been a few hours since we heard from you. Sometimes just coming to the site and sharing your frustrations with others who understand what it is like to have depression can be beneficial. Check back in when you can, we are thinking of you! Casey ________________________ The DC Support Team

Today is really tough and it is only 12:10. I want to crawl into a hole and cry. But I don't know why. I am defensif and frustrated with work. But nothing major here. My children are a lot more calm that they have found their rythems at school/daycare. My husband has finally made the big appointment to be fixed, so one less stress is there. I saw the family-doctor this morning and he is unable to go further in my prescriptions of psychiatric drugs so he has refered me to the sector's psychiatric services. Okay I was disappointed that I am not in his familiar territory so I feel like I have a major illness. I am tired, and my anxiete has given me a sore chest and digestive problems. I know that by the end of the afternoon I will have a migraine to top things off. I am sad and want to cry... but it is impossible here at the office ! I want to run away, but run to where to do what? I am trapped at work - short staffed this week and no more "days" left. I am trapped at home in a tinny space with no room for me. I am trapped in this bi-polar thing that distracts me from moving towards comfort. sorry i needed to let this go and hope that there is a solution somewhere.