hi gang,
right this minute I feel like the worst possible human being on the face of the earth... one step above the worst criminal...
My daughter is 4 and having some trouble, she has a complex head movement that is a tic. She has seen a pedeatric neurolorist, opthamologist, two pedeatricians... and is fine, no tourettes, no epelesy, and no bunch of stuff we cannot diagnose till she is 6 to 9 yrs. We think my son's (9 yrs old) a difficulty with processing the written language and will soon be in a position to diagnose him.
Well, my dughter has nasty tantrums. Her frustrations build till her tiny body cannot follow where her mind wants to fly! And we spend hours listening to her yell and cry ... I want... pay attention to me... hold me now... I want, you said, and I want now... So this evening I finally blew the gasket and said; you want to leave maman so much well I do not want to be your maman! i have lost all patience and you you are welcome to shop for the parents you want!
And one hour later we were watching my show and my baby said to, Maman I was too mad and I am sorry. 4 years old and apologising like that! I am the worst person. How could I punish this tiny little mind with such hurtful and mean words?... I know how much they hurt i received them from my parents with no reconcilliation after... Who could I be reduced to a blubber gibberish, me - educated, experienced, medicated, and basicly decent?
And of course through it all I have ignored the calm, mature child my son has grown into. He has questions and accomplishments that need recognition and I am uselessly arguing and wearing out!
My husband has the same cold as the children and went to bed at 7:30 to listen to the hockey game...
I hope you have a good night, I have a feeling the sub-conscious will have something to say this night.
