Wildcat,
I use to say that I wish I could see myself as others see me. Instead I saw this woman who had fallen short in life and made a lot of mistakes. I've been working with a counselor for a year now and I also have been dating a guy for about 6 months. These two combined are helping me to be able to see the intelligent, successful, woman that lives inside of me. With each passing day confidence grows.
I know exactly what you are saying in this post as I have felt the same for so long. I can tell by your posts that you are intelligent as well. We take one day at a time and we make it through. Perhaps better than the day before and sometimes we aren't so lucky. Still the days come and go and we grow and grow. Don't give up. I'm not giving up either. Are we ready for lesson four?
wildcat you are an inspiration.
I struggle with the home work. Have not done a thought record today inspite of a bad start to the day. Things got better as the day went on and now I am back agitated and anxious. not kept a mood report or anything.
You must be the ideal pupil and will certainly succeed in completing the programe and be able to take control of this silent illness.
Well done. x
Hi gang,
I keep introducing myself bit by bit everywhere. And this is the next installment.
I saw the psycologist this week, and I asked her what do I look like from the outside. I explained, I have this grey coloured glasses and the treatment is to put coloured pucks in order. I see some colour but I can't really see properly.
She explained that i have a lot to learn. I had a a father who had no idea whatt a parent is meant to be and his illness made him a completely inadequate example. But in a year's time I will have the tools I will need to begin to wean of a lot of the meds and learn to tackle most of my emotions on my own. I am I strong woman and am very thinking and very intellectual. she even called me intelligent! I am a pleasure to work with because I do the work and I take the time I need for effort and recuperation.
Do can not imagine how good it felt to be complemented and have the complements explained. This is the only way I can believe them! She really could see the horrors down in the abyss and still see what is left on the edge! she saw the bits of me that were not swallowed by the abyss. It makes me feel like picking up a few pieces and putting them into my pockets -just in case I might need them-!
