yes.. I worry about the possibilities... there is a world of worry in my imagination!!!
The kids are 9 and 4 now ... what will we do if then come home at 16 with a tongue piercing and chip their teeth? and pergnant? what will we do if they jump out the window to meet their friens during the night???
and if the house were to ...? and if a sunami were to ...? and another ice storm like in 1998??? on and on... :p
Hi Wildcat,
Do you have a follow up appointment with this consultant?
If so, maybe you could talk to her about your understandable confusion.
It does sound a little odd that your thinking is bipolar without the chemical imbalance.
Well done for speaking to your PZ group of your fear of people, i am happy that it went well for you.
I am also a constant worrier. It has always been my nature to worry about everything. My children joke that if i had nothing to worry about, I would worry about having nothing to worry about! A no win situation.
Good luck with the next step of moving on. You still have some though things to face, good luck x
hi gang.
well she is only a very available consultant. but with so much good experience.
now I am confused. She seems to be saying that my depressive episodes are anxiety driven rather that me being bipolar. She says I have the thinking of a bipolar without the chemical disbalance.???
I know psych is an art, not a real science. No blood or urine test to say yea or nea! but this is somewhat silly! :p
You know, I see how the fear and emotional trauma from my childhood are reflected in today's anxiety. I see how I spend each day looking for the dormant monsters in everyone. I do not know how I will break up this "fear for my survival" into its elements and desensitize myself to it. I finally spoke about this fear yesterday to my PZ group. I called it my fear of people - not a social phobia. It went really well. I did not touch the fear; only described it. I did not need to cry to move beyond it; remained behind it.
I think the next steps will be painful and necessary. I have this raw fear since childhood and it colours everything, including how I see myself. it wears me out to the point I need to isolate myself and hide from everyONE. i have to learn to enter a relationship without worry (I worry even about what MIGHT happen when my kids grow up leave , have families,...etc) Nothing is without worry... even breathing is worrisome!
Wildcat,
Good luck with the new psych.!
Gabs,
Try not to be down about the NHS guy... And I have to wait 6 months for an MRI for my right knee ... treat yourself well with the pain management until you get into the PM programme.
Hi Wildcat,
I do wish you luck with your new psychiatrist.
You have been working so hard on your thoughts and analysing all you do.
To me you seem so much more in control than you were some weeks ago.
i do hope the wait to see this Doctor isnt too stressful for you and you are able to use you appointment time constructively.
The fact the you have acknowledged your taboo subjects will help you learn to deal with them although it may be hard and painful.
Please let us know how the appointment goes.
I will be thinking of you. x
Wildcat,
It's so important to acknowledge that you are in a phase of intense work. Your appointment couldn't come at a better time. Please let us know how it goes.
Brenna, Bilingual Support Specialist
Hi gang.
I have an appointment Monday morning with a psychiatrist. My family doctor was out of his league with the effexor, seroquel and my weight and refered me to the psychiatric hospital for yet another diagnosis and medicine follow-up. I still see the psychologist at the local clinic (CLSC). Also, I have the phobies-zero support group. I still have to squeeze in work and family as well. I am sure there is time in there that is mine but I seem to landmark the negative.
I am looking forward to seeing this doctor who is so well known to run over his appointment times that the appointment nurses warn the patients. I am curious. I wonder if I am "stable" and if I am going to be maintained...
I have noticed that I am in a phase of intense work. I have several issues that I am ready to face. There is this illness and my need to heal physically. I have been thinging about how the negative patterns were laid down so long ago and how I have been fighting to replace the patterns. I have to face the worst of my anxiety issues... those in my mind. I tend to ruminate. I am hypersensitive to some of the spontantion ideas that pop into my mind. Rather than let the notion come and let it go ... I hold onto the idea and use it to judge my self worth. Sometimes these notions hit taboo subjects like sexuality ... and I create whole monsters out of the mist. well I have started to allow myself to look at these problems.
So the psychiatrist comes at a good time. I will let you know more tommorrow.
