Hello, Brassin,
Welcome to the site. You'll get a lot of stimulus from working the CBT programme here. Bring your insights and experiences here and post as much as you can and read all the threads as far back as you can (if you haven't done so already) and you'll see how much value there is in talking about your pain.
Maybe I'm going a little nuts because I'm coming up to my quit-smoking date this week, but, do I detect a note of anxiety and irritability in your writing? It sounds like you're miffed that your circle of friends are so locked into their depressions that neither you nor they can articulate what you're feeling and that is very frustrating and isolating for you (and them!)
Well, as you can see, there's a measure of calm and deliberation here on the site insofar as you can say what you need to say without judgement, strange body language or plain old interruption.
Let yourself get comfortable here - we're all depressives ( but we are battling everyday to find ways to swim up to the light with these weights tied to our feet...I remember a severe depression when I was 14yrs, stealing my Mother's Tryptizol and Codeine and then switching my fidelity from the Beatles to the Moody Blues - hard to say where there was any 'positive thinking' in that period...)
It's really good to have you join us, Brassin.
