Wildcat, Way to be active and think about your progress. This is good sharing and know that you are not alone. The decision to look into these traits is a great step to assisting you in challenging those negative thoughts. Let's hear how other members take on this. Josie, Health Educator

and miakoda... how does it affect you?

Wildcat, I loved your post! It made me laugh because I too deal with anxiety, panic attacks and I have an obsessive compulsive disorder. I count nearly everthing. I've been doing since I was a kid, my mom said it must come from when she was pregnant with me and knitting! I mostly do it if I'm worried or upset about something, I mean I can be lying on the bed and count the knobs on the dresser even though I know there are 13, I keep doing it. Cooking is one of my worst! Give me a carrot or celery to chop and I'll automatically count how many slices as Im slicing. I don't even realize it at times, at one point I catch my mind saying 15, and I go oops, there I go again counting! lol Lets see what else there is I count...cars driving by, telephone poles, the lines on the road, the sidewalk cracks, my steps walking to the store....LOL Oh boy am I messed up or what! :p

Hi Gang, Depression is one thing for me but anxiety is the other face of my coin... I have Obssesive-Compulsive personality traits. So often times I have certain ways of thinking that are "crazy-glued" into place. One such notion is cleaniness and contamination. I am not a "washer". I do not need to wash my hands 60 times a day is a particular patter till it is right. I do worry and become somewhat agressive when people cough continually at work ... the smokers and the ill... I worry about the fibers and germs that are being spewed into MY air. I worry about what my body will do with this contamination when I breath it in. I have not seen anything that says your body cannot develop cancer after having breathed in others lung cells... (unreasonable I know but it is all emotional here). I worry about the germs mutating in the ventalation system that provides air to the building. I worry about what can survive on the paper that comes in the mail every morning. Most days I take a walk to the kitchen. Make a coffee and look at the treat machine. a distraction that works often. I take the time to change these ideas and get on with breathing and living. I really try not to feel stupid, unbalanced, crazy. I have working on this problem for two years and am able to hug people on good days. I am able to go for groceries without being sick. I know that the panic center might be a better discussion area for this but what I wanted to explore here is how hard it is to change. It is really hard to see that I have a wrong idea and replace it. It could be issues of contamination or negative views of the world. It is reaaly hard because the world around me helps me to focus on the negative. TV has a million and one messages of cleancleanclean. Products for body, face, hair, hands, feet,... floors, ceilings, grocery carts, vegetables... ETC. At work people have a million and one ills and it is hard to avoid the stale air that is circulating. Recently, the radio has begun an ad that talks about a natural product that cleans the spackle in the intestine and colon. Is there anything that is more associated to filth than a colon??? so this ad plays 5 or six times on the radio and 400 times in my head... I NEED TO CLEAN MYSELF OUT. The usual 20 minute h-o-t shower with a hard brush and two soaps is not enough!!! So, depression and anxiety go hand in hand for me. But play a strong role in how I see myself. At moments I loose much of my confidence and begin to see a whole series of negative scenes with the worst possible me at the center. Most of my trouble comes from the errors in thinking that the CBT here is helping to set right. ONLY, sometimes the pattern is so ingrained it is difficult to see the error. Know what I mean?