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for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3043

hi confused. [b]thank you!!![/b] i chose april 12th due to the "good" numbers. april= 04= 2x2 12=2x2x3 or 1+2=3!!! it's a thing.

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 183

You said that you wanted to sleep until April 12th and have a bowl of fruit for breakfast, lol. Otherwise, I don't know what April 12th is, except past the March storms... I'm in Toronto -- not the snow you have, but definitely the bleakness. My aunt in Victoria is particularly annoying this time of year -- I make sure to call her mid-summer to let her know how much sun we're getting :)

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3043

the daffodils are under a meter of snow in montreal... and freezing rain is on the way this afternoon! 74 days is a long way off! by the way what is april 12? oh yeah my post easter is march 23...

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 183

Hi wildcat I'm with you -- winter is a huge downer, and this depression has been carrying on for sooooo long! Supposedly I'm finally on a good cocktail of meds for a few months now, but I'm back to crying most days -- I'm really frustrated with changing medications and paying for medications that don't seem to help for very long. I don't know why it's so hard. I've accepted, for the most part, that I have depression for a reason and that there is something I must learn from it but I've been struggling with coping and learning, learning and coping for several years and, obviously, I still haven't figured it out. Some sort of clue would be helpful! But April 12th isn't all that long a time away, wildcat -- the daffodils are already up in Victoria. :)

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3043

hi gang, I managed to finish the biggest part of the work project I had over weekend before the mood crash sunday afternoon. Now I am back to sleepy, unmotivated, and bored, and and eh groggy. I need to see the doctor and discuss mood stablizers, but this morning it was easier to floow the river-of-life's current and go to work. Maybe I was wrong, I want to sleep. But the dr is back on wednesday, so till then we'll see. why is every step of this so hard? Why is this a constant struggle ? why is always a new situation that I have to learn to controle? all I want is to lie down and sleep, and if I happen to awaken on april 12th set out a bowl of fruit for my breakfast. I hate winter. I am bored with work. I stress for every bit more that I have to deal with (like needing test for Tiamat to determin if she has touretts syndrome).

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3043

i would happily share ... but this is why it is bipolar; one part high one part low and no normal. I would happily shre some of the energy that feels like a colony of gerbils that have escaped in my head. I would like to be able to have some contro over it... but all it is like is a rocket up the colon that has 500 lbs of dynamite. the sky or hell is the limit. at least when i slide down to the bottom, there is no where left to go to get hurt. thanks confused for being here today, i appreciate the company.

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 183

Hi wildcat I have to say, there's a part of me that wishes for your highs, but I know that this is because I've never experienced them. Would that I had even half the energy or enthusiasm to want to tackle Kilimanjaro. Since all that sh*^ with my ex and my girls over the holidays, I can't seem to shake the heavy blackness. I'm trying to push myself to at least function, but I had calls yesterday and today from hydro and gas to remind me that I haven't paid my bills. Why do I do this? The money is there (n the line of credit, at least). I pay bills online -- I can write here, so why can't I just pay my bills? I have booked myself on a course for my work this weekend, which I've really been looking forward to, but it started this afternoon and I sat there checking my watch every 5 minutes for when it would be time to leave and go back to bed. I'm in a very deep low and I need help and I feel so alone. My littlest one was only 2 when we were going through our lice issues, and she hated having her hair brushed. She hated anything being done to her, actually... brushing teeth, getting dressed, seatbelts... I had to choose my battles, so hair was classified as a non-crucial issue. Except for when the lice came. My sister was visiting at the time, so she helped -- we had my little one in the bathtub with me combing her hair and my sister popping a Smartie in her mouth whenever she opened it to scream. My little darling :) Counting my blessings, and I will get through this low. You know, this is why I resisted my doctor's prognosis of depression -- I don't feel sad, just apathetic, lethargic, and so heavy that I could just dissolve into the ground.

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3043

why is it so hard :(

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1153

Wildcat, We are very glad you caught realized these overgeneralizations and challenged your negative thoughts. Way to go! Keeping a diary is a great plan. It will help you track your moods, learn more about your ups and downs and keep you in line for living a healthy life. Keep up this great progress. Brenna, Bilingual Health Educator

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3043

hi confused. Hey you are the second to confirm the conditioner theory. We use Resultz, which is an oily pharmaceutical product with out a pesticide that works on the live lice and my husband does the combing in the bath... to do the hair-do thing (they look like a dr seuss model and love it). You know I have always been bipolar and did not know it. So now I catch myself just as I start to slip towards depression ... but I see why I need to chart my moods and functionality ... to catch when I am about to "take-off". I was soo angry and jealous and hurt - because of a whole bunch of stories I created in my head. It was a good thing that my boss drove me home, i wasn't making good decisions in the afternoon! what set me off... well I have stopped the seroquel so I have strange nightmares twice a week. And my sleep pattern is off! I am decreasing my effexor gradually and this week it is one normal dose 150 and two lesser doses 112.5 so this provokes a destability. Things have been going well and I guess I have been hypomanic for a week now - Very productive and Jovial!!! so I was not watching for the up-swing towards dangerous, irritable, and shortfused. When I am depressed I SSSSSllleeeeeep. I slow down and get confused ??? what is coffee for ???. But an up-swing is just as bad. I suddenly think "oh wow I am normal". I have energy... I can haul all 265 lbs of me to the top of Mt-Kilimanjaro Saturday afternoon and make that great pot roast for supper!!! It gets bad when I start to think I can remove all 1.5 meters of snow from the yard and start the tomatoes in the garden :8o: and teach my 5 yr old to read war and peace in english on Sunday(when she is just learning her proper french).

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