My work on this has been patchy at best -- I'm so glad that I've finally found a class! I find it tough work, and like you, Alie, when I go down it may be weeks before I can bring myself back to it. Hiding in bed is only dark and scary when I fill out an activity chart, otherwise warm and comforting but not a place where I can spend the rest of my eternity... so I guess we should congratulate ourselves for continuing to come back here. Thanks, Alie, for being brave enough to speak up about how hard this is. Are you by yourself at home? It's great that you have good health practitioner support. Take care.

Alie, Good for you for being active in your progress! Your support and knowledge are always welcome here :) Josie, Health Educator

[font=Trebuchet MS][color=Navy]I just thought I'd come clean and maybe get some support and reassure or help other people who may be having the same problem. I've been working this program for uh, upwards of two years, I think? And I'm on session 8. So for those of you who think they're going too slow, you're not! Being brutally honest, [i]I have not been doing my homework this whole time.[/i] Reason being, I have been so depressed that I was in emotional crisis so often it was impossible to actually keep up with anything. It's taken me (with so much support from my therapist, and my psychiatrist, both of whom I treasure) two years to regulate and uplift my mood enough that I actually have any time between negative thought -> feeling absolutely horrible. (It used to be instant, and it's really hard to combat your negative thoughts when you're already in the "but I'm worthless!" depression mindset, or when you wake up feeling like poo and the day just gets worse from there.) What I'm doing right now is going back and working on the two things that did actually make sense at the time: my activity record and my thought record (we've been working on thought records in therapy, otherwise I would probably just go in sequence). Then after I do my activity record, I plan to proceed with my treatment goals, etc, and basically redo the whole thing! I'm hoping it'll take me less than 2 years this time. ;) I actually feel really, really good about this. Since I've "read ahead" so to speak, I know what these things are going to be used for and I realize the importance of the homework. In addition, I'm stable enough now that all the activities on my chart won't be "laid in bed. mood 1: depressed. 100." (That is a dark and scary place and I am so so so relieved I'm not there anymore.) I'm posting this in hopes of supporting and encouraging people who are maybe thinking they didn't do as much as they should have to begin with--it's okay! You can go back and redo sessions! I'm redoing 2 years' worth! Oh, and yeah, I'll also take some support and encouragement myself if you have any handy. ;p[/color][/font]