Hi Everyone - Thank you so much for your support and encouragement. The Dean was wonderful - understanding, helpful, and responsive. Very empathetic. We decided to drop a course and she contacted my professors and said that I experienced medical issues this semester whcih interfered with my school work. She said that the dean's office was working with me to help, but that she wanted to inform the profs that missed classes were due to these medical issues and to contact her with problems/concerns. She only spoke directly to one prof (who was fine with it) but left detailed messages for the others. Each prof reserves the right to decide if I can stay in his or her class. The Dean advised me to return to class as soon as I felt ready, to borrow notes, and assured me that this was normal amongst law students. I told her I'd go this week. But now I'm freaking out - I spent the whole weekend nervous and trying to psych myself up. I haven't done work in ages - I am literally hundreds of pages behind in each class. I don't have any friends at school bc I'm a transfer student and I barely show up for class. Taking a semester off is not an option bc I have a job this summer that requires 2 complete years. I will not find another job like this bc my grades have dropped so intensely, and this firm should hopefully be the one I work for after graduation (they say just to graduate, grades no longer matter). So I have no choice but to try and succeed in the four classes I'm keeping. I don't know if or how to approach each professor. I don't know if I should tell them exactly how behind I am, or how to deal with any questions about my medical problem. I'm so behind that I cannot risk getting called on (law school employs a deplorable version of the socratic method which basically means any student can be grilled by the prof at any time). Does anyone have any advice if and how to approach each professor? My classes are mostly huge so they've probably never seen me before. I know I can pass the finals if I just start going to class and doing the reading. But it's 4am and I am paralyzed with fear and don't know how I can possibly face the profs, make up the reading, and somehow get the notes from someone. Any advice would be wonderful Thanks so much - this board is amazing and I'm grateful to have found it.

AKC: Hopefully you've sorted out your school stuff, but in case it helps I am a professor and I have had many students come to me to speak about the kinds of issues you're dealing with. It's far more common than most people know, so your Dean will be familiar with it. Also, what I tell my students is that what matters most is that they get back on their feet emotionally, and that the coursework comes second. Don't put too much pressure on yourself in these kinds of circumstances, life will go on just fine if you have to restart some courses. People do it all the time for all kinds of reasons, it's not that big a deal, take it from me. The big deal here is getting yourself recovered, let that dictate the timing of things, not the academic calender. I wouldn't tell a student with cancer to worry about finishing courses (and I've had that situation too) so why would anyone expect someone with an equally serious emotional condition to be able to do it either? Finally I remember one of my happiest days was seeing a student, who I had seen in extreme crisis, walk across the stage to get her Master's degree. I've seen a lot of my students graduate but that was a very sweet moment for me. Don't underestimate how much people are behind you, and will want to work through this with you. And don't think you have to be superhuman. Just make it, however and whenever you can, I guarantee we'll all be happy for you. Ava

Hi AKC. If you haven't talked to the dean yet, this may help you feel a little better. several years ago, while I was enrolled in grad school, I was in your same predicament, fall semester I was severely depressed and couldn't do the work. I wanted to just run away and forget about everything and just get into the fetal position. Somehow, maybe with the grace of God, I managed to approach someone (in this case the assistant dean) who not only understood, having, astoundingly to me at the time, dealt with depression himself before, but was a sweet man who worked everything out with me. I luckily only had 6 evening hours. I was able to take one incomplete for that semester which I had months to make up. As me depression spilled over into spring semester, I finished my first incomplete, and was able to take another that semester to finish up later. I want to leave you with a couple thoughts: Although, I wouldn't have thought this way before - C's AREN'T THE END OF THE WORLD - even though because we expect the best from ourselves it sometimes seems like there are There ARE good people and options out there. Muddling through school AT ALL and being at class occasionally can be a herculean task for someone who is depressed - YOU ARE STRONG! I'll be wishing you the best

Hi akc4040 A late welcome from me. And I was wondering how your meeting with the Dean went?

when I was doing my bachelor's degree I lost my grandmother and became my sister's and my mother's legal guardians. I had the social workers and the funeral home write letters for me. I knew then that there is a responsibility to myself and to my family. I couldn't do both and remain healthy. The deans of my departments - two majors - were very understanding... yes I lost the semester, and quite a bit of money... but I think that I came out better. I had had one major episode of depression two or three years before and knew that I was still on shaky ground. So, I took a moment for me. and a whole bunch to care for my littles... akc4040, I can understand that there is a whole stigma attached to depression and mental disorders in general. But, I think that you can show the dean that you are the best student right now! You are making your health a priority and you are thinking "long-term". You need your health to make the most of your time at school.

AKC4040, I work at an institution of high education, and I can tell you that students often tell me about their struggles with depression. Of course, they don't know that I, too, have my own struggles, which makes me sympathetic, but I would guess that your Dean and the profs will have heard of people like "us" before. Be confident. Be honest. Educate them a little, if needed, about the real effects of depression and anxiety. And let us know how it goes.

hello akc4040 and welcome! You've come to the right place, we are more then happy to help you! When going to speak to the Dean, you should be honest with her, she should understand your situation and help you accordingly. Best of luck, Sylvie, Bilingual Health Educator

Hi everyone - this board is an incredible place. I've been working the program. Reading the boards has really helped me to not feel so alone. I'm scared to post but am hoping that the wonderful posters can help me like they have others. I've faced depression and anxiety my whole life. This is my second bout with a depressive episode in my adult life (i'm 28). The first time I was treated with effexor and CBT and I've had both a wonderful therapist and a competent psychiatrist for many years. 3 years ago I went off effexor and had a weird experience and was scared to go on another AD. A few months ago the depression came back and I decided to start zoloft 4 weeks ago. I can't tell if it's working, but I'm also seeing my therapist weekly and trying to work this program as well. My problem is that I'm in law school and am not functioning. I've missed a lot of class since the beginning of the semester. The first year I got straight As and last semester I got straight Cs. I'm so scared to ask for help but know that I need to, because I've been too terrified that my absences are noticed by the profs. Tomorrow I'm meeting with the Dean. Ideally, I'd like her to "excuse" my absence as a medical illness and alert my professors that I am returning to class (which will be a challenge, but I'm ready to do it). I am afraid of revealing that I have MDD & GAD and am afraid I won't get the same treatment as if I had mono or a broken leg or something that doesn't have the stigma attached. Does anyone have any suggestions about how to explain myself to the Dean. She's a really nice woman but I'm still terrified that they'll force me to withdraw from the semester due to missed class. I know if I can just start going to class having the old absences excused by the Dean, that I can finish strong and do ok. I'm so scared and lonely and it's a struggle to even contact her and see her. I'm afraid I'll start sobbing and freaking out. Please help!