Hi everyone,
I am new and uncertain. I am 35 and this year has been just horrible for me and I have been diagnosed with depression. I moved to the US 11 years ago and my family back home have all fallen out with one another. My parents have disowned my brother and his family and my sister and her family and now my sister won't talk to me or my brother and my parents are not in the least supportive or indeed ever really been. Then in January this year my fiance and I postponed our wedding which was going to be this year while we worked through some issues, since then he cancelled the wedding, told me he no longer loves me and asked me to move out and as he is also my boss I had to find another job. Don't get me wrong he is a great guy and didn't expect me to just leave he was going to help me find an apartment and support me until I found another job. When this happened I fell apart, totally. He came with me to therapy which helped and now he says he wants to give us another chance. He is not sure if he is in love with me and is not sure if he wants to be in a relationship, but knows that nobody will ever love him like I do. So I don't have to move out or find another job but my confidence is shaken to nothing. I have started to suffer panic attacks which I used to have many years ago and get nervous when I am too far from home. I am a mess and want to work on the relationship and prove what a great independant woman I am, but at the moment I feel like a total nothing, a total failure. There is a lot more of my past I know that makes me feel this way, but I won't bore you with it all now.
I am on zoloft just started a few weeks back, I feel so down and tired in the mornings and not sure if its because I don't take the zoloft until the afternoon and my legs ache all the time...is this normal? they ached before the medication as well. I am just looking for help, support and a light at the end of the tunnel.
Anyway hello everyone.
