Hi wildcat.. maybe our gerbils are related? There's just so many of them... uuugghhh!
It's weird you know you ask for help from family and friends and they come and then over the
years they dwindle away - too busy, family, work etc etc.. Who can blame them as this whole
thing with hubby has been going on for 6 yrs straight. I'm just feeling so alone especially
in the last 10 days. I do have a fabulous dr. but hey he can only take me so far because
this is my life everyday 24/7.
I have to admit though that today I FORCED myself to go to the mall. At first I was feeling
really shaky and was sure an anxiety attack was coming but it didn't. It was like I was almost
willing it away .. strange huh? Anyway went to the mall and felt at some point like I was the
only one there. Am I totally losing my mind or is it just a coping mechanism? I don't know.
I went to Sears and picked up a few things we need for our new kitchen and washroom which
will be renovated by the city (we live in housing) in August. There were some good sales
and it really took me away from my problems for a few hours. Now I'm really exhausted
from this outing. *huge sigh*
Overall though I think that getting out was a way of facing the fear that I couldn't handle
going out and I did it.. so that's a good thing. And I didn't think about smoking (in day
79 smoke free) so that was a plus as well.
Thanks for taking the time to respond wildcat.. and I wish some peace and tranquility in your
day and this evening.
Sylvie.. I'm seeing my dr. again on June 4th and I'll be telling him everything. I think there's
a good chance that hubby will be given another monetary gift to get him back into the
chronic care hospital again to give me some respite.
Sarah