I've been there many times, everywhere from feelings of worthlessness, self-loathing, and suicidial tendancies. There is no magic pill that will make you feel better. Everything a doctor who writes your scripts to throw at your depression is hit and miss. Some people do well with writing a "Balance Sheet" of sorts, where they put their good qualities on one side, and what they see as their bad qualities on the other, and then focus on balancing everything out. It works wonders for some people. Others benefit immensely from self-inflection and meditation.
But then there are people who aren't organized enough or able to focus long enough to do either of those. It all starts with one good thought. Take that good thought or quality about yourself, and polish it up, make it shine in your heart and in your mind, and soon you may find other good qualities, which you also need to cherish, and encourage within yourself. But then things can go backwards again, where life seems to fall apart again, but always, ALWAYS keep the ONE good thought. You don't want something transient, like a new car or a job as that thought, because cars get sold and jobs change. It needs to be something so close to your heart, your essence, that no matter what, it's always going to be there. For me, it's my children, and the thought of leaving them without a father has often been the only thing that enabled me to cling to life. And yes, it's hard to do, hard to keep even the one good thought alive to you sometimes, but you have to, otherwise you end up falling, falling so fast that you feel that things would be better without you here, you feel that you are the cause of their pain, and that they would be better without you. It's a LIE, you are lying to yourself and to them. But always the good thought is there, even if you've denied it, even if you feel it's betrayed you, it's always there close to you. It may be roughly hewn instead of polished up like you've had it. But it's always there, always able to show you the inner beauty of itself and of yourself. Keep the thought, cherish it, kindle it, and encourage it, and it will always give you a path back.
ExSlyder
