My name is Carol and I have been suffering from depression since Dec/07. I have not been working since Jan/07 because I also had Panic Disorder (although I'm beginning to think you never really get rid of it because I have started getting panic attacks again).
I am not on any meds because I have read so much about the possible side affects that they terrify me. I did attend a GP psychotherapist here in Toronto from Mar/07 to May/08 for treatment of the Panic Disorder, Depression and I forgot to mention GAD. The psychotherapist had me on a roller coaster ride emotionally, one week he would tell me that if it takes a year he will help me to get through the depression, the next week he would tell me there was nothing more he could do for me, another week it was he doesn't see me getting out of the depression if I don't get back to work. Every week I would get into another tailspin so I finally decided to find another therapist because I couldn't take the roller coaster anymore.
At times the depression is so overwhelming I feel as if I am going to lose it, other times I just don't want to wake up in the morning and am mad when I do. I get mood swings, sometimes I don't feel like talking at all, other times I am so agitated and yet others I am so down I don't know how I am going to go on. But somehow I do.
The next week is going to be very challenging for me because I am scheduled for surgery & don't know how I am going to handle being in hospital for 2 days and recuperation for a month. You see with the Panic Disorder one of my biggest fears was not being able to get out.
Nothing seems to lift me out of what I call profound sadness & if I find something that does it doesn't last for long.
Well that's my story.
Hope to hear from someone.
