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Overreacting....

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Sheba,

You are a very strong person. You may not feel strong, but you have remained true to yourself and moved out, you have goals and dreams for yourself. It must irritate you terribly to be treated like a 10 year old. Well meaning, overly concerned parents have that tendancy too.

Stick to your goals and your ideas, it is your life and you should be allowed to pursue your dreams. It will take your parents time to realize that you are grown up and not an extention of their life. I'm sorry that your parents have yet to respect you for the adult you have become.

Maybe you should at least journal your thought about this and your contacts with them over these issues. It may point you in a direction that will make those contacts more effective in getting your point across

Mom of 3

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1153

Sheba, It's good to hear that you are motivated and able to set goals for yourself. Continue to set goal and work towards them. Make sure that you are setting realistic goals and awarding yourself when you achieve them.
We strongly encourage you to keep a journal to track your moods. It's important to learn what how you moods affect you and how you react to them. A journal will help you to do this. Members, please share your experience with journaling.
Brenna, Bilingual Health Educator

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 185

I know that they are concerned with me. But everything has a limit. And the worse thing that could happen to me is not make it by myself. Then I simply go to work to a company. I know I have a good preparation but I also have dreams. And for me at least is important to follow my dreams.

The biggest problem is that my mother doesn't understand that I'm not 10 years old anymore.... I had to fight with them to move in my own home. This was last year... one year of fight to go to live by myself.

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3043

Good to hear I won't drown during my workout!

Your parents mean well. They view a corporate job as the easier way. Getting set up on your own is more risky and takes more time to yield income. They likely think you should start with a larger company and build from there. All of this said you still must make your decision.

I have a daughter who doesn't like to be told or suggested to. She is extremely hard headed - to her detriment. As a parent it is worrisome because I want the best for her but she bucks everything she is told or suggested. She seems to pick the worst possible answer and run with it like it's a trophy. I worry that she's going to wake up one day and realize what a mess she's made - this scares me for her. Ultimately, after trying and trying I have backed way off and allowed her the freedom to go her way. I have realized that I can only offer suggestions when she asks, but I have also stopped bailing her out when she messes up. This is hard but I feel it's the only way to make her responsible for her decisions and actions and not have her blame me.

You don't seem to be like my daughter in that you are actually doing constructive things with your life. Studying and wanting your own business - I'd be proud if I were your parents. Worry about you, yes I would. I would likely give you suggestions too. But they would need to be just that - suggestions, "food for thought", etc. If you can think of your parents words as suggestions and not expectations, (even if they are expectations, because they really should be suggestions only), you may be able to get past the pressure and assert yourself a little more with your parents. This way you're not disrespecting them because you have considered their suggestion, but also set up the boundary of making your own decision.

I know I speaking from a parental view somewhat, I am one, and I understand your situation because I have expectant parents myself. I hope it helps

Mom of 3

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 185

As for a swimmer I'm the perfect rock... that goes under... so I think that you will do really fine. :D

As for the job. Me and my parents have completely different opinions. I don't like to be told what I have to do. I'm a natural leader I think. So I would like to work by myself. They are telling me that I need some stable income.

But I'm a free spirit... Then they are afraid of my problems. They prefer to do the ostriches... and they don't seem to understand that more pressure they put on me and more likely I will do whatever I want. and this apart from feeling depressed.

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Sheba,

Thanks for the info on the class. I might try it, but I hope you don't need to be a real strong swimmer because I'm not.

How are you doing? It seemed to me that you feel a bit pressed by your parents about the job thing. What do you want to do? Is a big company something you're interested in? Parents are always wanting "the best" for their children and I'm sure yours are no different. Their advice is meant to help you, but you have the ultimate decision and it needs to be right for you.

I know it's hard to set boundaries with parents, but you need to. I should know, I've got well-meaning parents but it's not always good for me. I've lacked boundaries with them for years and it's very difficult to set them, but I'm trying.

Mom of 3

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 185

The aqua - fitness is a complete workout: cardio and strength. Usually in a class we work the upped body, or the lower body or do as complete workout.

The cardio - jogging in water; the same movements as you do on land but in deep water.

then the classic aerobics;

For the strength we use floating things, like barells, tubes etc. And work against the water resistance. Instead of the classic exercises where you have to pull up the weight here you have to push the floating equipment under the water.

and then we do also lots of abs using the water to float on.

As for my adventure here should end in october. If I manage to end my thesis. and then I will return home. I also have my parents that tell me that I should think seriuosly to find a job in a big company.

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Sheba,

What are you studying in Rome and how long are you going to be there? I'd be interested to hear about your adventure there.

It would be really hard to be away from friends. No wonder you were so very upset by being stood up the other night. Is there a hobby that you could do in the evening to fill those lonely times? I wish I had some better ideas for you but you can always stop by here to let out your thoughts and feelings.

The gym I go to has an aqua-fit class but I haven't participated in it. What types of exercises do you do in such a class?

Take Care,

Mom of 3

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 82

well at least your getting exercise,Im to lazy! but I want to start jogging. Im told I should start by walking first an work my way to jogging.How is it in Rome? Iv never been there?

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 185

Usually I don't go to sit by the pool. I'm doing aqua-fitness. It's a really fun way to exercise. :)

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Overreacting....