First of all, I would sincerely like to thank all of you for taking time out to reply to my despair. It certainly helped me get through yesterday. Hubby and I didn't speak at all after he got home from work....even though my cat was still very sick, I thought he would at least ask about her. He went to bed, and I stayed up till he got up, and then I went to bed. It seems it is the best way for us right now. As you can tell, I am a "talker" and he isn't....that is until he has held it in so long that he explodes. I am on depression and anti-anxiety meds for years, but our new therapist in our small town has not been the most helpful. I have been to a psychiatrist, but all he does is push pills, no talk therapy. Along with the depression and anxiety, am prone to panic attacks, and have overcome OCD, which on reflection is in all likelihood a genetic thing in my family
Rose...u dont have a big mouth,
but right now u are right.....I dont have the strength to leave, although I did consider it yesterday. I have no desire to ask for alimony from him, as money has always been an issue since day one.
I can never get rid of my dear animals......they have stuck by me with unconditional love, and if you have ever had a pet, you will know what I mean. 3 of them are rescue animals, coming from bad situations. But animals have always been a great comfort for me, and I cannot give them up
We have tried counselling in the past as a family, because of events going on at the time, and I tended to talk too much, and the rest said very little. It did help somewhat with the immediate problem though.
Mom of 3: I cannot talk to him......he just accuses me of "going on and on and on". Wish I had a nickel for everytime he said that in the past. There is NO communication between us, unless it is of a positive nature. If it is the slightest bit contentious, he doesn't answer me, which is even more frustrating for me.
Kentucky girl: (hate to call you "goofy"), as you can see communication is non-exsistent. Like I told my therapist, it is "like living together with someone....alone". It wasn't so bad when we had our girls, and then the grandchildren....but now, I have alienated them all, and they live a long distance away. I am in Canada, on the prairies.....Living Sky country, which I love.
Panda....I did start the depression program, but just got as far as the first session.....I must restart again, and focus on it more intently. I absolutely hate the meds, as I consider them just a cover-up for the real reasons I am experiencing the mental problems.
Sheba...as to all of you, thank you for your warm welcome.
And Josie, I can see that I came to the right place. I realize that the way this marriage is going, the stress is going to kill one or both of us prematurely. I a ALWAYS tense....not sure if I relax when I sleep, but am tense again when I wake up. Have even tried yoga and meditation, but they recommend that I do so in a stress-free area in my house (There is no such place!) I will restart the depression program on here today. Heartfelt thanks to all!
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