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for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1693

Rose,

Sounds like you are making good progress. You are working on going on walks and on talking to neighbours, which is great. Keep it up, and in time your comfort level around people will increase, and carrying on conversation will become less exhausting. Have you ever thought about joining a book club? If you love to read, this would be a great opportunity to incorporate your favourite past time with working on being exposed to and feeling more comfortable around people.

What do you think?

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 142

wildcat,
yes GAD w/a little dependent/avoidant personality traits - i go out lately about 3 times a week - once to psychologist, once to grocery store, once to library. sometimes it's even hard to go outside. i have a nice yard - a few neighbors (which we block out with fences and plants) and i try to do alot of gardening - the roses, also jasmine, rosemary, lots of pots and beds. one of my goals is to spend at least 2 hours a day out there. alot of bending, and stretching and fresh air - i know it's good for me, but i feel better in the house. we do walk the neighborhood every night and i am getting better w/waving or saying hello.i'm not working right now because of my inevitable blowups - i get fired or quit - depend too much on my husband, we are drowning in credit card debt. i need to find another job but the thought right now of putting together a resume and interviewing makes me sick to my stomach. plus, where are the jobs. we live in florida, 1000's of people laid off recently, jobs are scarce and i am not competitive at all. i stay busy, the house is clean, i cook alot but doc and i have discussed that my comfort zone isn't so very comfortable anymore. right now, i am 100% enmeshed in the outcome of my younger son and just stay busy, stay on the meds and go through the motions. any ideas on the avoidance? i definately have always felt on the outside looking in - and am very uncomfortable around people - don't know if it's the scrutiny or having to carry on conversations which are exhausting to me. i don't talk much, i read which is my salvation and has been since i was about 4.

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3043

A lot of great advice and support here, members.

Keep up the great work, the supportive, and the positive attitudes!

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi rose,

one part luck, one part Fortuna, one part hard work. It was a very difficult thing to do way back then. Look at what I was given, recognise what was good and what was bad, and learn to piece a decent life together. I could have grown up an angry, rebelious girl; wasting away in a gutter. I could have turned to additions and excesses to take the edge off the pain and the emotions of life. I could have stayed hidden and avoided life altogether.

Rose,

do you have and anxiety disorder? you say you have a very limited comfort zone. Is it physical (spacial or specific ) or emotional?

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 142

wildcat,
you've had a tough life! don't you feel sometimes you could write one hell of a book? sorry about your miscarriage, me too. you didn't do any killing. it wasn't your fault. your dad sure didn't do you any favors by stomping all over your "growing up" years. don't you feel lucky now to have found love and have kids and seem to have a nice family life? guess i'm not bipolar, because i don't have that high energy - but still very confusing. the doctor tells me time to get out of my head and move out of my very limited comfort zone. fills me with dread. i think i'm doing all i can do to walk 2mi every night - 20 days and counting!
thanks for taking the time to explain. it's one day at a time.

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3043

I like the analogy wildcat!

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi rose,

In chemistry and physics class in high school, did you look at prisms and shine light through gases ? Well when white light is broken up the rainbow is a spectrum ...

keep these images in mind.

When we excited gases with a current and shone light through them, only parts of the specturm were visible right? Helium (He) had lots of ... say reds a bar of green and maybe a bit of dark blue (OK- i do not really remember- but lets pretend). Hydrogen (H) had bits and pieces of colour appear ar different points. ....

So doctors took this image and applied it to mental disorders. Several disorders have the same Colour or main symptom like Anxiety or Fatigue. Several disorders will affect a common area of the brain (memory) or common protein (serotonin). So if we are looking at a rainbow of related disorders bright red might be where we could put several Anxiety disorders then in the yellows maybe Depressions and so on to the blues and the 6 Bipolars and in the dark purples the schizophenics?

So my bipolar might light up a bit of anxiety's cardinal reds and several bars of orange!!! with a concentration of a rainbow in the blues. Someone else's panic disorder will have a rainbow of red to orange with bars of yellow and a hint or two of green and purple.

Now the next question Rose.

Depression is thought to have two aspects, a genetic factor and and environmental one. Genetic is what you inherit, it is you chemical balance ... or imbalance and the predisposition you might have towards an illness.

Environmental is the aspect of the illness that you are taught ... we are taught to think a certain way, accept certain life conditions, live a certain way -eat, exercise, sleep- In my case the doctors thought my depression was caused by low self esteem, poor/no parental support, few peer connections. I was taught by my father and kids at school that i was a worthless piece of s*** and I believed it. I had no other experience as a child so this was all i knew. The task of the doctors was to wash from my head these erroneous ideas and reprogramme a new basic me. The doctors were to give me a new srtucture to build me on.

"Minimal meds" at 21 was a liquid dose of prozac that did nothing to tell you the truth. After 6 months, the doctor and I just gave the meds up and went with talks.

At 27, I had a miscarrage and tried art-therapiessss rather than medications. I did not know I was depressed at the time. I was sad and greiving - normal. But I should have sought serious help then... but I wanted to hide. I was ashamed and I was in pain and I sad. I had just killed my tiny baby (it was a spontanious abortion - the embryo died at 8 weeks and my body ejected the corpse at 12 weeks). ( Again, Doctor thought I was creating my depression with a cyclical and negative thought pattern that talking would fix. no meds.)

so Rose see a light

go on some where?

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3043

Glad to hear you are better wildcat!!!!!

Mom of 3, me, too, but until then - see you around working with us, it's the next best thing to being there!

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 142

hello again wildcat,
thank you for the explanation, it's a better picture than what you can get in books . it's intriquing - what is the thought provoked kind of depression? so do you feel better now on these medications that you did with just the "minimal meds"? i feel driven to know exactly what i have. psychologist told me not to label myself, but i find that so frustrating. it is a spectrum, isn't it? i wish
they would come up with a shot or an implant to make me feel "normal".