I have had a few moments on the edge of control.
Where, like the caged tiger, I walked back and forth. Ready to escape. THe house a tiny cage. Barely enough room to take 5 paces and turn around for another 5 paces.
A prison where I have to do the time till I am set free. My own person able to choose do as I please.
not a good thing with my illness. It sets you up for lots of promiscuous and dangerous behavior before 16. It sets you up for years and years of conflict with parents who have no idea that I am their carbon copy.
THe interior where there is no air and the smells are of decay and age.
Inside where there is no privacy and the pride is reduced to being herded.
Here is where everything is stagnant and hidden.
My only escape as a teen was my bike and I would spend hours every weekend discovering this city. The wind in my hair in the sun and the rain. Any where but at home where my father would yell at me and my grandparents. Anywhere but at my mother's where she would cry and ask for conformation about being a good mother.
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So the interior has always been stifleing when I have had those moments of uncontrolled energy and extasy. THe realisation of being a part of the world and knowing there is so much to discover and experience!!!
