WElcome to the support group. I've been out of sync for a while in being able to participate, but wanted to play catch up and welcome you aboard. Hope you stick with this program because I think you'll find a wealth of information and tools to assist you in your recovery!
Been there and done that too! Can tell you it does get better if you get help. Takes time though and that's the hardest thing. Seems like it takes forever to start feeling better. Hard to have patience when you are feeling like you are, I know that, but hang in there!
Have been going through therapy for almost a year.
Progress is slow....don't rush because it leads to frustration & giving up.
Do the homework in the program.
Looks like you're doing more sabotaging (gambling) that only aggravates your depression.
You have CONTROL! Recognizing what you're doing is great! Now, take back control & responsibility. Stop the harmful activities. You'll feel more in control, more confident, & it'll build your esteem.
ALL THE BEST!
Remember: you're NOT alone in this. Others feel & experience the same things.
hi slip - a million little suicides, never heard it described that way, but i agree with you - i know what you mean about the self sabatoge - why do we do it? if you feel yourself at the end of the rope - you are! hang in there, vent anytime
Welcome to our wonderful support community. You have come to the right place.
We are here to help and support you in whatever you need. Please take the time to read through the program and begin working through it. Also, please explore the tools and resources that are available to you through this site.
You will find that there are many members who are or who have gone through the exact same thing as you.
We are here for you. Stay close, and keep us posted on how you are doing.
I have been visiting this site and reading the forums on and off for the past year or so, but have not actively participated until now. Believe I posted once or twice before, but did not use the tools provided here as I probably should.
I feel like I have been depressed all of my life. I cannot remember many times from childhood that were actually "good times" and certainly remember many where I felt terrible. Low self esteem and a lack of motivation have haunted me throughout my life. Despite this, I had managed, up until about a year ago, to fashion a career that many would be quite excited to have. It started serendipitously, and just seemed to find opportunities from there to allow me to advance in spite of my shortcomings.
That all ended last fall. I quit my job without another one waiting because I did not like the company I was working for and had no respect for the man who ran it. I have always had a habit of sabotaging myself. Almost like a million little suicides without actually doing the deed. Now I am unemployed for over a year, almost completely out of money, gambling (and losing) with the hope of making money, drinking, using people in my life, etc. Lately a good day for me is one in which I only consider suicide for a fleeting moment instead of dwelling on it like usual.
I am nearing the end of my rope, and I know that I have to find my own way out. Hopefully I'll be able to do that. Thanks for listening.
