Is Gary blind? You are very pretty and I'm seriously wondering about Gary! Does he know that you could do better than him?
With that said, I know that not having a good connection because of all those things that get in the way of romance is a real killer to a relationship. Rose has some ideas. I don't really know about your situation but it seems that Gary could use a little insight into the intimacy department. Men blame all this stuff on us but rarely realize just how much it is them that limits alot of the bedroom activities and the quality therein.
Do you and Gary talk in a meaningful way? Could you perhaps have an honest discussion about the issue? If not, talk to your psychiatrist and see what she has to say. Perhaps therapy is what you both need, but you would need to be the judge of that. You can always work on these issues without Gary, perhaps it will open Gary's eyes or perhaps you really will do better than Gary - one never knows! Hang in there Donna, you're understood here.
hi donna - you are so beautiful - maybe it is your husband who is depressed (or gay)! have you tried being the initiator? i don't know, i always thought men were pretty easy to get in the mood - mine is, lol. i know what you mean - my first marriage was pretty barren. i never felt so alone. is the chemistry there for you two? was it ever? a therapist could help you with your sex life, too. i hope it works out for you. i know it's not so much the sex but the contact the connection even just a hug every now and then. if he doesn't give them, take them, if he doesn't reciprocate - find a lover? get some toys? take care of you!! here's a hug and a kiss from a stranger
zhi Mom. Actually I think you gave me great advice. I do need to find ways to entertain myself without Gary. Depression makes it soooo difficult to do even small things. I have just starting seeing a psychiatrist that I do like. I also started medication and am really hoping that those things along with this program can get me motivated to make a move.
I'm really looking forward to getting to know you better. Donna
Goofy, thanks so much for writing me. I really appreciate the welcome and letting me know I'm not alone. I look forward to getting to know you better. Donna
I too am sorry to hear you are so lonely. Depression is a lonely disease at best. I think you'll find that most of us here share that feeling. I don't have a better answer for you than what Goofy has already written. Find an outlet for yourself, something that is for you and has nothing to do with Gary, except transportation perhaps. This will give you a life outside of Gary that may even become more fulfilling than your last 18 years.
Whatever you decide to do Donna be kind to yourself, you deserve more than you are getting and I'm sorry Gary is unable to see this. However, this is a problem with Gary, not you.
Welcome to our support community. There are many people in this support group that may share the same questions and concerns as you. We are all a group of individuals who spport each other.
If you look to the left of the screen under "TOOLS" you will find the Depression Program and helpful worksheets. As you move through the program, the worksheets will change as you change. Take the time to do the homework, there is no rush!
Each session in the Depression Program is based on previous sessions, and if you track your mood with your Mood Tracker, you'll notice much improvement over the coming weeks. Under the Auxiliary section, you will find helpful information on relationships, read through it as well.
Please don't hesitate to contact us if you have any other questions or concerns.
Donna, so sorry to hear that you are lonely. I live alone and get lonely too. I know it is important for me to keep in touch with loved ones and friends. You mentioned that you have a disability that makes mobility difficult. I have found friends via the internet to chat with, just about everyday stuff, life's ups and downs, etc. I also have friends and family just a phone call away. Are there people you can call, who you can invite over?
I'm sorry you are having such a hard time....I do know how loneliness feels. Please keep in touch, this is one resource I utilize as well to compensate for the loneliness. I look forward to hearing more from you.
Hi. I'm Donna and am a 52 yo married woman. The main thing that depresses me is how alone I feel. My husband shows no affection for me ever. I have on a few occasions asked him to please just put his hind on me for even a second. It's no use. We have had virtually no sex for the 18 years we've been married...he has no passion. I know I was absolutely crazy not to leave him as soon as I realized how life would be with him but now it's too late. Due to health reasons I cannot work and am receiving disability. I cannot drive either. Gary does take good practical care for me just as an unfriendly nurse would. But damn! this is so hard and I'm so lonely I could scream.
