As a teen I needed to release all the nastiness inside. So I journaled to have someone; something to talk to. I would cry and let it all out on the paper. AND leave it there.
Now, I have a psychologist so I talk to her. I have some practice now so, I know when my thoughts have an error in the logic. I know that a and b do not necessairly mean y and z sometimes there is m2 and opq 12 in the middle as alternatives.
So those cute dollarstore books I grab along the way to write an idea or work out a kink in some feeling ... and then I do not know what to do with the rest of the pages ... so why not stick something nice that will end up in the recycling bin? I like jelwry. At the entrance of a restarant there are often postcard ads that are pretty... so I cut the ad and keep the pretty! My daughter likes the cartons that her dolls come in .... lots of protraits of her doll and friends to stick in a book!
I have my "Happy book". In this book, I write down all the little successes I have. Well the big ones too if they occur. I also write about the little stuff that uplifted my moods and such. I paint in it and put stickers in and colour. I guess it is a weird little scrapbook experiment! I haven'T written in it in a long time. I think I will pick it up again. It is good to see the pages fill-up and get to re-read them. It reminds me of the good things!
Thanks wildcat. I wish I could find something to get excited about like that.
I was also just reading the "journaling" post written by one of the mods - "use it as a jumping off point for positive things...?" (I'm paraphrasing, or totally misunderstanding.) "Find a hero or artwork that inspires you..."
Is it in one of our exercises that I haven't reached yet?
Perhaps I need some positive mindframe to start off with to write that kind of journal? I've stopped journaling because each entry would just devolve into list-making for suicidal fantasies, and that's not helpful at all.
Or are there other questions I can ask myself? Would it be harmful to just start writing some escapist fantasy, Harry Potter-style?
h linda, sorry but mine is full of cut out pictures from flyers. I like to bead jewlery and I cut out examples from flyers as goals of things I would like to do and write in notes of what i would modify.
I, too, have not found a journal as such too helpful. Tends to make me self-indulgent, make me over-think, if that makes sense. I have personal pretensions towards being a writer, and when I feel really down, or the anger and sadness just needs to burst out, I try and write a poem or piece of prose. I find that grounds me, because before long I'm appraising what I've written, I'm rephrasing and editing it, trying to turn it into a decent piece of work. It doesn't matter if it's any 'good' or not, but the process can bring me back to myself.
And I completely identify with your image of each day being a 'rough hike' towards the night.
Thanks for the welcome. As someone who has always overachieved, realizing that just *living* is an achievement is encouraging - because as long as I live another year, I have the opportunity to change.
For me, I haven't found a way to journal... in a useful way. They are records of my worst periods, and are frankly monotonous. At worst, I find myself romanticizing about self-harm; at best they are a record of the various medicines/psychiatrists/therapists that did not work out.
Can someone give me a starting point for a journal that might be useful, somehow? Some way to write with hope in mind? Are these even the right questions to ask?
(The mood tracker and activity tracker are great because they'll eventually show me patterns in my moods - so I don't want to include that in my journal. I have my mini goals and to-do lists...)
I think journaling helps. I also think that working this program one session at a time, reading the mod's corner and taking my time for it to all sink in is great. Being able to write in the forum and having a blog are also great tools here. In addition to this website, I spend a lot of time working on my spirituality, seeing a therapist, a psychiatrist, taking meds and taking it one day at a time.
The friends I have met on here are wonderful, supportive and encouraging. It seems at one time or another we've experienced comparable feelings and sometimes it's just great to know someone is out there who understands!!!!!!!!!! We talk about alot of different issues....no topic, it seems is off limits.
Welcome and use this site and all it's resources/tools for your recovery.
