Thanks for all the positive feedback. I saw my doc yesterday and he has decided to keep me on the meds a bit longer. I have picked up all the pieces of my life and have started putting the puzzle back together. I thought about what you said wildcat- many areas of my life have seen great improvement but there are a few things that I think I need to focus on before I give up my crutch.
I have got to find another job. I have been working normal hours the past few months, I was taken off shift partly because I was acting so miserable (from being depressed) and now that I am better, they have decided to move me back. My husband got up to his mischief while I was working night shift. I was constantly exhausted. I just know I will be paranoid of my husband's activities and think it would be silly to give up the meds if I may be heading for something that was part of the reason I got so depressed in the first place. My husband and I are doing much better but I still have the odd moment where I become suspicious or angry. I have forgiven him, it is the forgetting part (and the fear of it happening again) that is the problem. Oh well, I have taken a few days off work to relax (worked through Xmas & new year so think I deserve a break!)
Sometimes the doctor sees the results of all your hard work and thinks it is time. Think back over the past few months ... have you been doing the exercises here in the program? and taking your meds? going to your appointments? picking up the threads of your life again?
The meds are one piece of a whole !!! It is good that you are thinking about your health and asking questions. And you doctor seems to be looking at you as a whole person. So take the opportunity to have a good discussion. Ask questions like - can I remain as I am for 6 month, or 9 months? I feel fragile in these areas still - stress from work? family? or your natural cycles?
It is nice to hear from you again. let us know how everything is going!!!
Thanks guys, I will talk to him and voice my concerns.
I have taken up painting again and am really enjoying it. I am also going to Yoga regularly with a friend and recently joined a hiking club.
I've been doing the journal now for a few months and find it makes me feel better when I have a bad day and my negative core beliefs try to creep in, I read over a few and go 'wow, that isn't true- I AM good enough for people and myself'. I think I will keep doing this, even if I complete the program because I have had years to reinfornce my negative beliefs. It is going to take alot of convincing to make the positive one my natural reaction.
Talk to your doctor about this. Explain how you are feeling on this dosage and what you might expect if it is lowered. If you don't tell them, they won't know.
Good for you for starting your hobbies, what are you doing?
Continue to keep your positive journal, this is awesome!
I should start by saying that I have a bias against doctors. I think they have knowledge, but they are still basically taking an educated guess. Also I think that he has never experienced what we are going thru so he is biased as are most people that this is something we can work thru . I think it has more to do with the chemicals in our brains. My thoughts on this were reinforced just recently. Right now I seem to have everything going for me. Yet in spite of that, starting last friday, I felt myself starting to slip( you know what I mean) and asked my doc to raise the dosage of my meds and it helped level things off. Now I don't think it is all the meds, but I think that it is part of it. I also think it should be your decision when to get off and not your doctor's. But that is just MY opinion!
I am supposed to see my doc soon, who wants to start weaning me off my anti-depressants. I have been doing well the last few months and am so afraid that if he lowers my dose, I'll crash land again. I worry whether I will be strong enough without the pills? I have started my hobbies, I've made a new friend, I'm still keeping my positive experiences journal. I just still have days that I feel down and worry that without the antidepressants, those days will become unbearable again. Am I silly to worry? Should I just trust the doc?
. If you need help or require feedback, just post, we're here for you.
