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Hey y'all- lonely Matman

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Hey y'all- lonely Matman

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 30

Hey Jamey,

Thanks for the advice. The girl I was talking about there was when I first started posting on here. But, she decided to break it off because she accepted an internship position that's about a 5 hour drive away from me and for the other reasons associated with taking a job that's a few hours away. I would have no problem with that, but she accepted this position before I knew her and she should have told me right at the start, instead of leading me on only to crush me in the end. At the time, things seemed good and I liked the though of where I figured this could go. But, I found out that she wasn' t the person she said she was. I am not trying the pass the blame off on somebody, but this time it wasn' t my fault- unlike the other times that I managed to screw it up. I am just a normal guy, or try to be.

Anyway, what I was feeling then at the time I wrote the post you're replying to was anxiety. But, I know now, if I am faced with a similar situation- if, big if- then I know what to expect and hopefully I'll remember if I don't self-destruct, then I'll get through it. That's the plan anyway.

With the past situation- I played my cards right and thought I had some luck, I thought I hit the ball out of the park here until she told me she wants to join up with some hippy commune. you'll have to fogive me, I have a somwhat sarcastic, cynical sense of humour.

I had a heated conversation about this with my family tonight at supper. Seems like when I expect or believe or start to dream of the moment that something good will happen, it doesn' t happen. But, when I don' t expect it or believe it, it happens. This isn' t just with dating, it's with everything in my life. Weird. I started to look back. I didn' t think I would get into the university I went to- got in. didn' t think I would finish my program- finished it. didn' t think I would get the job I am at now- got a phone call a few days later when my boss told me I am hired. But went I start to believe in the outcome, the outcome doesn't happen- it turns into a "could've been"- same thing with bike racing- in the races when I thought I would have a crummy race- I finished on the podium, but the races I thought I would win- nope fell short. must be some kind of phenomenon happening there. Anyway, sorry this is off topic.

Well, good night. Hopefully this site helps you.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 18

you shouldn't be sorry for posting long threads in here. That's why you are here- to get help. How cna you receive that if you don't let people know what's going on? As for this lady you are seeing, I am wondering if maybe you guys haven't known each other long enough to be comletely comfortable wit her. If I would have known how much of an angel my best friend is (we are not officially dating, so i can't call her my girlfriend) when we first met, i would have had the same thoughts of undeserving that you do now. But the more we got to know each other, the more comfortable we got around each other, and the more I realized through her that i do have redeemable qualities that make me feel like i do deserve her in my life. She is a positive influence in my life and has helped turn me into a better persdon. i think if you give this lady a chance, and let her see you for who you really are, she may do the same. If she doesn't accept you for who you are and your faults, do you really need that?

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 910

Welcome to the forums!

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 30

Thanks.

Where I live, I have oppurtunities to meet people. A local bike shp around here does weekly rides and we have weekly races. A few collegues that I spek to through work are getting into mountain biking as well and they are a couple of guys around my age. Given, there are oppurtunities to meet people almost everywhere, but some places more than others I know. Anyway, the main thing is my negative thoughts that I'll have to start working on how to challenge those. Thanks for the compliments.

I realize I am going on a rant here, but I had an imporatant realization today after getting home from work. I've been beat up (or, rejected for every reason in the book and then I beat myself up over it) so many times by the opposite sex in the past, that when something good comes along, I feel like I don't deserve it. Fact is, I do deserve it, but my brain is just not wired to think that way.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 823

Hello Matman,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. There are many people within this support group that share the same questions and concerns as you. We are all a group of individuals who support each other.

Please take the time to review the program and the tools and resources available to you. Work sessions have been created that will assist you in understanding yourself and your symptoms better, as well as devising strategies to help you overcome your concerns. It is strongly advised that you work through the program and sessions for a successful outcome.

You have accomplished many wonderful things and it seems you are enjoying your independence and freedom. Your feelings of loneliness are totally understandable. Are there avenues within your community where you can meet people? You mentioned that you like mountain biking..........can you join a club or group that does this regularly?

Although you have identified the root of your problem, it is important to challenge the negative thinking and to believe in yourself and your qualities. Can you list 3 wonderful qualities you have?

Please continue to strive forward and lean on us for support. We are here for you Matman.

Faryal, Health Educator

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 30

Hey,

I am Matt. I am 25. I've been haivng depressing thoughts since last Summer. Basically, my storey is I finished univeristy at 23 and landed a job in Muskoka in my field later that year. now, I've been in he job for a year and a half. Love the job (most of the time), bought a new car, have my own apartment. but, now that I have all that, I feel the one thing that' s missing is a girldfriend. I haven' t had any serious relationships yet and the more I live my life, the more I feel alone. The more I feel un-confident and the more negative thoughts I have. I don' t enjoy doing the things I used to love (i.e. mountain biking), I don' t have any motivation to eat, or any motivation to do much at all and I cry for no reason sometimes.

I met this awesome girl recently, but I feel like I don' t deserve her and she won' t want me.I know the root of my problem is my negative thought pattern- if it's not worrying about living alone of rhte rest of my life, it's something else.

I tried talking to my mom about it and although she' s a nice lady and I feel like she's my best friend (that' s sad, I know), She makes me feel stupid with her tough love kind of pep talk.

I am posting on here because I don' t feel like I can talk to anybody right now about how I feel and hopefully someone can help me out of this hole that I am in so I can start to live my life the way I used to.

I posted in another thread called "over analyzing", I appologixze for this and the other thread being long, but any help is appreciated.

Thanks.

Matt,

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Hey y'all- lonely Matman