azbrowneyes,
Having been a counselor for almost 20 years, I found the information in this program to be saying things I already knew. However, in desperation, I was willing to work even the simplist program. lol, it isn't simple....it's challenging, it you want to do it right, you need to take your time (I don't agree with the "next week" agenda.....but the mods and the program says work at your own pace. Well, I could have gotten it done in 9 weeks, but I'm over a year into it and on session 9. Along the way I've used the other sessions (sometimes more than once) and I'm going back to Session 1 when I get finished with the last one. I'm not insulted nor are the others thta you feel like it's quite elementary. Remember, not everyone who comes here has been dealing with deression for years, may not have a diagnosis, or like me, knows alot about it, but can't seem to get it unjumbled in my head (still working on that).
It sounds like you've got alot of adjustments occurring in your life. The daughter going off to college is a tough one. I rremember when my son left (he was only 2.5 hours away). I was upset for days/weeks. That was pre-depression. I wasn't diagnosed with depression until he was in law school 5 years later. It seems we focused on our kids, our lives revolved around them, their activities, where they were, what they were doing and mostly because we wanted to know if they are safe! We don't have that focus of all their activities, it's a test of sorts to us - did we do everything we wanted/needed to do/ anxiety about is she going to be okay, It's definitely a tough tough tough thing to go through. I can only tell you that as you have said that bond doesn't disipate, it grows stronger. My son is 30 now and we are closer now than then and I never thought we could be closer!
I'm sure the "empty nest" is causing your focus to shift more toward your husband. It's like you open your eyes and and see a different person. Don't make any rash decisions. Remember the reasons you fell in love with him in the first place (he's sitting in that chair). Share with him your fears, your anxieties over your daughter, take a hug, a pat a gently touch or a kiss when offered. Those can be reassuring.
And as for WHY? I guess it's because we all have some type of health issues throughout life and it's those dern neurotransmitters that went haywire on me. You know I'm not making light of the depression. I think trying to figure out why keeps our focus off what can I do about it. And if you knew why? would it change?
I'm full of opinions, open to feedback, don't intentionally insult someone. Hang in there azbrowneyes. I'd love to hear a bit about your daughter (i.e. how far away is she going to school (miles,kilometers), what do you think she wants to study?, is she excited about being there? met new friends, like her classes, what does she tell yo about most when she calls? I hope she is enjoying her experience at school! What a great start you are giving her in life!
