I have looked at the program and so far it's nothing new. It's all so not new that it's almost boring and insulting to read.... (no offense) like I don't know what depression is....
I don't know what is happening in my life that is putting me in this mood. Nothing new... same old, same old. I miss my daughter. She has gone out of town to college and even though we communicate, it's not the same as when she was at home. I miss my little ones, they live full time with their dad (long story there....)
My husband is wonderful and loves me very much, but he can only hear the same old story so many times. It's gotten to where I just don't talk anymore... then he wonders why I am so quiet. How do I tell him that I just don't know what's wrong with me. I know I don't feel right, but I can't pinpoint what the problem is.
I am taking Cymbalta and have been compliant as hell for the past 8 months. I also take clonopin (spelling?) occasionally.... mostly when I can't sleep.
I just keep asking... Why? Why? Why? Not that the answer to that will make anything better. I just want to know why I feel like this. Why did my brain decide to not work right?
azbrowneyes - I feel the same way you do. I act like nothing is wrong and everyone around me comes to me for help because I am the "strong" one. I wish I was. No one knows what I really feel, alone, depressed, overwhelmed, restless, confused, and am coming to a point of not knowing what tomorrow brings. I totally understand how you feel.
We are right here listening. You are not alone in how you feel. I hear the frustration in your words. What is happening in your life now to make you feel that soon you will not be able to pretend anymore?
Have you started to work on the program? Have you found it to help?
Honestly, I would love to believe that there is nothing wrong with me. I was diagnosed with Major Depression 19 years ago. I have had many, many years of pretending nothing is wrong, trying to act normal because anyone I surround myself with doesn't get it. It's better to just act like it's all good. What happens when one day I wake up and just can't pretend anymore? I fear that day is not too far away.
The worst part is that I have enough things to be grateful for. Why? Why? Why? Why am I so restless. Why do I feel so undone?
