Rebbie, I am sorry that your post got skipped over. I will assure that it was not intentional by me or anyone else.
I did read your post about the hard time you have had with your relationship and your recent hopitalization. I am sure this information you got to day is unsettling.
I wrote this long post to you just now and then went back and deleted it. I am not very good at relationships myself. I don't know that I have any advice for you or consolation.
I do know that you are a strong woman in resolve to not allow this man to continue to treat you as he did in the past. I see a woman who is working very hard to move on with her life. I don't think it is unfair for you to ask your girlfriends to refrain from speaking of him in your presence (what you don't know, won't hurt you). I know you married him, had children by him and at some point saw something in him you loved, but the way he treated you is not indicative of a genuine great guy and you didn't make him treat you that way, nor are you allowing him to treat you that way. You know the man, she doesn't, so you know what you see is not real and won't last.
I hope that helped some - I usually skip over relationship issues - since I've not had much success. I apologize, I could have at least said, I hear you, I'm listening, someone is here.
I think there is alot of hand extending going on in these posts; I've seen them in a couple of places. I don't know where yours was and/or where mine was but I'll take your hand from Thanksgiving and extend it forward from today until tomorrow. I get to celebrate Thanksgiving tomorrow (saturday).
I can relate totally to the struggle to get out of the hole only to fall back again. I think if you'll look you will see we are learning and not falling as far back as we once were even if they are only small changes; we are getting better.
Hang in there Rebbie, know that I am here. Hang in there and keep us posted.