It is great that you have been discovering what you want. It might be a good idea to write these down, or even start a daily journal where you can jot down your thoughts, feelings and keep track of them. Communicate with those in your life about what makes you happy and what you need. You can't continue on in the same pattern if it is causing you to fall apart. Be open and express yourself to your family. Work through the online program, read posts and continue posting because we are here for you.
Members, how have you went about sharing your needs with family members?
I figured it out...what I want. For the longest time I've been trying to find out why I am so sad all the time. What to I want to accomplish in life, why do I always feel like what I do is not enough, why I feel so unhappy even when I am so blessed with a good life. I guess what I really want is to be LOVED...for just being me. Not for what I have already done or what I am going to do. I want for once for someone to take care of me and make me feel good. Im so tired of always giving and doing and figuring things out...sooo tired. I want to relax and not feel guilty that Im relaxing. I want to sleep and not wake up every hour thinking, I should get up soon becuase I have to pick up the kids from the sitters. I want to go out shopping an not worry about how long I've been out. Im so tired of hearing "Mom". I want for someone to do something for me and not have to give or do anything back. I want to make a mistake and have someone say "its okay...i'll make it right for you". Im so tired of keeping up a facade that I am a strong, independent person when inside, Im really falling apart. Im so tired...
Welcome to the site I am glad you decided to introduce yourself.
Am I right in saying that you have started feeling depressed when you started your new role in the company? I must say sleeping four hours a night is not enough. You cannot have a healthy mood if your body is not healthy. No one can function on four hours a night. Also, the change in your sleep cycle, lack of stimulation at work, demoted role and so forth can all be contributing. What options are there for you to change any of these things?
Also, feeling like you cannot spend relaxing time with yourself cannot help either. Always feeling like you have to be on and spending no time just for yourself would burn anyone out. You need to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. Working on this negative core belief will help you. I suggest working through the program when you have time you will find it to be a big help.
You seem like a very caring and insightful woman. I know we can get this figured out together! Now, I have a few questions for you. Can you tell me a bit about what "super mom" was like? Who was she? How did she act? What did she do differently? How did she think differently? What is it like to no longer feel like super mom?
I called my bestfriend last week and asked her if we could get together...I was so down, that I figured I needed a nightout. It was supposed to be a girls only thing, but anxiety creeps up again and I seem to have no confidence driving around downtown Toronto at night (a feat I did all the time with no problems). Anyway, we decided to make it a couple thing so Im bringing my hubby and she brings her significant other, who by faith or coincidence happen to be a doctor with expertese in Mood Disorder (specializing in Bipolar and depression)...ha!
Thats all for now...i could go on and on, but Im at work right now and I have to actually work. It was nice to put my thoughts into words. Thank you.
Hello... after lurking around the forums for a couple of days, Ive decided to introduce myself. I figure, there is nothing to lose and more to gain. I am in my mid 30's with 3 wonderful young children under 7 years old . I used to be super Mom, able to do anything and everything, but lately I feel like all my super powers have been taken away. Im tired and sad most of the time, I just want to sleep and whatever I do seems to be not good enough anymore.
I was able to balance my career and my time with my children well, but its just been so tiring. With 3 kids, the cost of babysitting was becoming overwhelming for my husband and myself , so a few months ago, I requested to move to a different role at work and accept a night shift position. Basically, I was demoted from a very good role. I was able to keep the same salary range, but opportunities for yearly salary increase and bonuses were halted. But I figured, this was the best move for my family. I save on childcare costs and spend more time with my kids. Unfotunately, the lack of sleep is starting to take its toll on me. I roughly get 4 hours of sleep on average during the weekdays. I feel very lonely when I am at home, even with the kids around. I feel guilty doing things for myslef like watching TV. Im scared to go out of the house with the little ones because it might stress me out. I used to be able to take all 3 of them to Wonderland on my own with no problems, but now just going to Walmart to buy milk with the 2 little ones causes me a lot of anxiety. I still go though because it is something I have to do. I still continue with my routine no matter how hard it seems for me. I cant just sit and let myself be consumed with my depression.
My new role at work isnt any help either. The environment at nights is totally different from the days. Its too quiet, everybody just works. There is nothing to motivate me or anything for me to look forward to when I come to work. Sometimes, I feel like the biggest loser...imaginge being with the same company for 10 years and instead of moving up to a management role (which was my career goal), I chose to get demoted and become one of the night shift processing drones. But then again, it was my choice to help the family. So really do I have the right to complain and whine about it?
I talked to my family doctor last week about my concerns. Told her that I didnt think it was normal for me to feel guilty watching an hour of TV while the kids nap and that I think Im depressed. She did prescribed Celexa 10mg daily and suggested that I go for therapy. I will be going to the Catholic Family Services (as suggested by my doctor) at my area tomorrow to see if I can get someone to help me. I was supposed go last week, but I was just too anxious to go out with the bad weather...I keet thinking it was going to be too hard for me if I go out with the kids...last week was a bad week for me. The confirmation from my doctor seem to make my depression worse.
I called my bestfriend last week and asked her if we could get together...I was so down, that I figured I needed a nightout. It was supposed to be a girls only thing, but anxiety creeps up again and I seem to have no confidence driving around downtown Toronto at night (a feat I did all the time with no problems). Anyway, we decided to make it a couple thing so Im bringing my hubby and she brings her significant othe
