CM and Rebbie
I called the pdoc yesterday and told to him to put me in the hospital I couldn't deal with this anymore (not suicidal) just tired...know you know what i mean. He said since I wasn't suicidal wanted to try some other things first, I was relieved, I've never been hospitalized and don't want to go there. They wanted to hospitalize me in 04 and I refused an uneducated refusal but that's in the past and I made it through.
Oh CM, so glad I've got initials instead of trying to remember how to spell your name out, hope that is okay. I, too have gotten used to the tinnitus and able to let it go so to speak. I have a pressure like feeling in my ears when I'm dizzy (not a pain, per se, but a pressure feeling, this I am able to let go as well. It's just a nuisance. The tinnitus is continuous irregardless of whether or not I am dizzy so I feel for you as well.
Yes, regarding the encouragement from the support group, however, there is no treatment, they recommend a low sodium diet which I try to adhere too, I don't like salt anyway, though I know it comes in processed foods so I'm reading labels.
What a vicious cycle with the depression being bad to start with, then add the dizzy, I think that I'm going round and round, each exacerbating the other. I did realize I wasn't adhereing to my regimen to maintain stability in my depression. I am not making excuses, but sitting her typing is so difficult and of course exercise and tai chi aren't in the agenda if I can't stand up, I could still meditate, practice my spirituality and I have a very supportive son, though he doesn't quite get the jist of things. He really hates that I take meds and thinks they are dangerous (the meds are for the depression). I told him I've tried not having them and that doesn't work at all. He can see how taking them sometimes doesn't help surely he can understand they are necessary. He tries so hard to understand. Anyway, he is supportive irregardless of whether or not he agrees with me and my course of action. He knows I am not suicidal.
CM, do you have a dx condition that causes your bouts with dizziness. What you described as the guant of emotions pretty well sums up what I feel, add scared and you've got me pegged. I have never had this bad of episodes this close together and am afraid about that, and afraid about the depression going to 04. I know I think I said a vicious cycle.
I agree re: the acceptance, took a while with the MD and I need to get there with the dizzy.
Part of the problem is what do I need to accept, word retrieval is difficult right now, thinking slow, not fixing typo's, not reading or proof reading - accept I have Meniere's. Accept that dizzy is gonna be this often this bad, will get worse, will lose my hearing eventually, will always have tinnitus, the pressure, will always be fearful when the depression get like this and the dizzy gets like this even if they are not co-existing on this level (most times in the past, they haven't. (grateful for that), that I might not be able to work (that's projecting, maybe this all is). I don't know where to start.
In the support group they talk about having the condition, then developing depression, looking for posts on people with depression who develop the condition. Not successful yet, but looking when I can....computers don't help the dizzy.
My son is going to come over and help me clean house this p.m. (what a sweetie) and I've got to take a bath - too many days without but not really interested! :(
Okay, enough....thanks for the thoughts and prayers Rebbie and thanks for