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Challenging Social Anxiety

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11224

Hi CM and Pete,

It sounds like this was a challenging topic for you both. When there is anxiety around social situations it can be difficult and you are both certainly not alone in experiencing these difficulties even after trying techniques that may work for others. It is true Pete it can take away from self esteem which makes continuing to try that much harder. But know that you can enjoy social interaction and you can feel more comfortable; it does take a lot of work and a lot of practice. There is no easy answer like Pete said.

Also, keep in mind getting to know any group of people can be nerve wracking for anyone; even if it appears that everyone is completely comfortable. It takes time to get friendly with a group of people. But you are right CM it can seem impossible to get comfortable with anyone if your self confidence is low. How have you tried to challenged this negative belief?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 223

Hi Jason

I am wary of these techniques that look so straightforward and tidy and easy in theory. Activities like challenging negative thoughts are fine and dandy as a paper exercise, but I find they have no impact at all on my daily life : I'm 49, have suffered from social anxiety all my adult and adolescent life, and the associated beliefs and behaviours are a deep, central part of myself.

Exposure to the phobia? Well, life forces that upon me at every turn and there is little control on my part as to the level/intensity of the exposure - social situations (by which I mean nearly all interaction with other people) come upon me thick and fast and most of them I cannot avoid. Every failure on my part to behave appropriately in these situations is another twist of the knife in my self-esteem.

I've tried. One of the things I really hate is going to pubs, going out for a drink and a 'chat' with work colleagues. Now I get along fine with my colleagues in a work situation, and quite often they will go for a quick drink after work. So on a few occasions I have steeled myself and decided to be sociable and make the effort. And always, within five minutes, I realise why I hate doing it. I am like a fish out of water, a gasping, flapping helpless thing. Where the hell do people find small talk? How do they do it in such a relaxed manner? How and why do they actually enjoy it? It is totally beyond me. And I have to escape as soon as possible.

Communication skills? Fine. But what if you have nothing to communicate, no desire to tell about yourself to others and no desire to hear their trivia?

So I come to the conclusion that I am just not built right. I cannot enjoy, or conceive of enjoying, social situations. And I cannot even fake it convincingly. This social ineptitude of mine has been at the root, I am sure, of my failure to make a successful career despite my intelligence and abilities, and at the root of my depression which is only a logical result of my failures in every theatre of life.

If you can't interact socially in this life, you're lost. And I think I'm in way too deep to 'challenge' it now.

Sorry to sound so negative, but - and there is nothing personal here - I get tired of reading about these techniques that seem so glib and easy.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 31

Hi Ya Jason:

Welcome to the group.

How can you challenge this when you think you are less than people, defective since my emotional roller coaster began in 2007?

I find I am so anxious in any occasion where there is people it's unreal. I take ages to get out of the house, try to find the right thing to wear, wonder what people will think of me. I waste so much time just trying on different clothes and trying to literally push myself out the door. And to top it off I have roseacea which in this humid weather shows up as having an extremely red face and the sweat just pouring down my face. In the past I have even had a stranger come up & ask me if I had sunburn - a complete stranger! I just want to run away, this is the worst I have ever been.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 223

Members,

Last week we listed out the symptoms of Social Anxiety. Today, we will be talking about how to challenge social anxiety using the following techniques:

Thought records: Keeping a thought record implies writing down the negative thoughts you experience in social situations and challenging them using the 10 questions for challenging negative thoughts exercise posted below.
Exposure work: Exposing yourself to the phobia is key but slowly. This may involve having a friend come over for a short period of time, going out for a short period of time and increasing the level of perceived discomfort with each exposure. To help you along on a list from 1-10 write down the situations, people or places that would make you the least anxious to the most anxious. Next, devise a plan to move you through each level at a stage that is comfortable for you.
Communication skills: Don’t forget to review the way you communicate with others. This is helpful skill in any situation! Learning how to communicate with others will also allow you to engage others in conversation resulting in participation as opposed to monitoring your own negative thoughts.

Good luck! We now invite our members to ask questions!

Jason - Health Educator

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Challenging Social Anxiety