Question:
In the final end, if my core beliefs about myself and the world are negative/unhelpful does it matter whether or not they are true?
Is the important issue here not the correctness or otherwise of these beliefs (these are generally not factual things that can be empirically tested), but the degree to which they propel me towards healthy or unhealthy mental/emotional states?
Looking at my list of beliefs below , these are clearly not leading me towards happiness, not building self-esteem or confidence. However, for me to successfully challenge them, challenge them deep down so they really change rather than an intellectual or paper exercise, first my behaviour has to change and provide me with evidence. But for my behaviour to be able to change, to find the strength and motivation to act as a real person would, the underlying beliefs must have changed first. Catch-22.
Locked in this cycle formed over 49 years of misguided thinking, passivity and inaction, I just can't see an answer. I am encouraged to love myself for who I am, value myself, celebrate my mistakes as part of life's learning. I just cannot do that because I feel so ashamed of myself, how I have fallen short in every department of life. How does one learn to look past that as if it does not matter?
I'm wandering away from the point here, and how can I expect answers to these things from anyone else? The solutions , if they exist, have to come from within myself.
I haven't used the program on this site at all, even though I'm a regular poster on the forums. Perhaps I'll take a look at the core beliefs section and see if it helps, as I'm clearly in a state of some confusion.
Spiky? Yeah, that's me. Not an easy dude to be around.