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So unhappy

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 223

Hi Pete,

Keep sharing when things get overwhelming and, as everyone says, take it slow (its quality not quantity).

Maybe it might be useful to post a debrief after every session (only if this is not too overwhelming). That way people can share their experiences with that part of the program which allows you ample time to reflect on what you learned.

Take care and please keep on posting.

Jason, Bilingual Health Educator

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 121

Hi Pete,

I just wanted to say that I am totally overwhelmed by the program too. I want to do it though. So I just work each section as slow and as long as I need to.

Section one was really easy. I did it in one week and had fun seeing the results (a bit eye opening).

Section 2 was really easy writing down the list of goals, but then I didn't do any of them! LOL! So I read it, but skipped it. Bad, I know, but I am usually good at getting things done when I want to, and I didn't want to be stuck on that one section forever.

Sections 3 and 4 I am doing together, and I am horrible at doing my homework. Actually, I like section 4 better than 3.

I have no idea about the other sections. I don't read ahead. That helps keep the overwhelming feeling to a minimum.

I have discovered that if I do about 15 minutes of homework a week, and one section each month or so (this is a serious snails pace), I am ok to keep up with the program. If I push myself to do more, I get overwhelmed and want to stop. I wish I could do the 15 minutes per day, but I don't.

I guess my point is, if you are interested in the program, do little bitty steps at a time at your own pace, as fast or as slow as you need to. I have been on sections 3 & 4 for almost 2 months now! : )

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 223

Ashley,

Thanks for your patient answer.

I shall try to take your advice and not look at the totality of the program, but just the bit in front of me. I'll see if that works at all. I have tried starting the program a couple of times before but have foundered. No harm to try again, and the unhappiness I feel isn't just going to evaporate of its own accord.

I said that my addictive behaviour would destroy my family life, which sounds like an exaggeration and an over-dramatic statement, but I think it's true. I don't want to go into details, but it involves other women apart from my partner. I have always had an obsessive side to my nature, but never before has an obsession of mine involved something so potentially dangerous and destructive. She would not be able to forgive me, I am sure of that. I know I should care about the consequences, should feel guilt or remorse, but I just can't feel that. Along with everything else at the moment, my emotions are flat and inaccessible. All I seem to be concerned about is the expense and inconvenience should I be discovered and have to leave our home.

As for what I would wish to have learnt in five years' time .... that's a hard one, Ashley, for sure. I really do not know. I do hope that in five years I feel happier than I do now, more connected to life, more at home in myself, whether I be on my own or still with my partner.But it is difficult to visualise that, when life is so ... well, as I described it below.

furgittit,

Nice of you to post, thank you. It's good to feel that somebody has read my thoughts and understands. And you tickled my wannabe-writer's ego too :) God only knows, my ego needs some tickling right now, so I thank you. Sounds like you are feeling much the same as me, so I truly appreciate the effort you made to post.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Pete,

I am sorry you are feeling like this right now. It sounds like you are really struggling. I wish I knew the perfect thing to say to help you through this but it seems right now you just want to be heard. Well I hear you and am here for you. I do want to add a few things though.

The program can feel intimidating to start but you must remember that there is no easy fix for depression. It takes a lot of work but breaking the program down into manageable sections is important. I encourage you to try to find at least 15 minutes each day to work on the program. When looking at it that way it can seem less intimating; especially if you include rewards in order to reinforce this behaviour. Please try to make this a priority.

You also mentioned that you have an addictive and expensive behaviour. I know you say you do not care about the consequences but you may want to look into seeking help around this behaviour. I say this because you say it will destroy your family life. This is a big statement to make; and I encourage you to examine these feelings. How would your behaviour affect your family life and what is stopping you from not caring about the consequences?

I know you are in a very dark place right now but remember what your signature says Depression is not you. There is so much more possibilities for you and I don't want you to forget that right now. Five years from now if you were looking back at this time what would you want to learn from this situation, how would you want to handle this?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

No response required, but yep, that just about covers the whole of it.

Way to express these thoughts and feelings.

Wow.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 223

Sorry, this is going to be a little self-pitying monologue. I just need to vent a while, and I don't expect anyone can really respond to it. But here goes anyway.

I'm just so unhappy, and so tired of being unhappy. Life is grey and flat, same old days same old me over and over again. And now, in seeking novelty and enjoyment to bring a spark back into my life, I've got myself locked into an addictive, financially expensive, behaviour. If it is discovered, it will destroy my family life. I love my family, but I can't find it in me to really care about the consequences.

I hate being at work, and when I am there I long to be at home. When I am at home I am bored and cramped and long to be anywhere else. It's as if whatever I do and wherever I go I am tense and out of place. Nothing fulfilling or enjoyable keeps my attention or commitment for long. I don't care if I eat or starve. And so unhappy, forever swimming in a murky sea of hatred for where, who and what I am. Playing my little roles, hiding behind plastic smiles.

I look at the program here and it makes me feel intimidated and exhausted. How on earth do people in my kind of condition find the energy and motivation to follow it through?

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