Great idea for Ruby. Session 6 of the online program walks you through the process of keeping a thought record. When you notice a change for the better or worse in your mood, stop, and as soon as possible write down exactly what the situation was, what you were feeling, thinking, what you did, and what happened next.
The first few often take quite a while to complete. However, the payoff is that after some time and practice you will have a much better understanding of the relationships among your thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
It sounds like you have had a lot to deal with, but it sounds like you are doing a great job of finding the help you need when you need it. I think there is a difference in explaining where you are at and playing "pitiful me"and I think you explained yourself very eloquently.
I know our situations are different, but I do share in some pain issues myself and as much as I don't like the weight I have gained by not being able to get out as much as I would like, I have tried to find different ways to keep myself busy. I started a new hobby of scrap booking and really love it. I never realized that I could be creative. It helps to occupy my mind and gives me a sense of accomplishment that I can share with my family.
Also something I read that might be helpful that I am thinking about trying is a good thought journal, for when the negatives are creeping in. Just keeping a record of things that make you feel good, big or small and then reflecting on them when you are having a tough time. Thinking about how they made you feel when they happened. Again it might be something small like finding a sock that was hidden under your bed or something big like your child being born.
Discussed with a new counselor today the frustration of dealing with immense pain and the cycle of depression that goes with it. I have had fibromyalgia for 15+ years and the last 2 have been the worst. I lost 2 jobs because I was making too many mistakes. Somedays the pain is so great I can hardly move. I can't recall names of streets or peoples names that I deal with everyday (this is called brain fog).
Am now working with a pain management center. Trying 2 news drugs, Ambien for sleep (without something to make me sleep I might doze for a few hours but never reach REM sleep. This lasts for months.), and Nucynta for pain. Nucynta affects the brain, sending out a message to the nerve endings to calm down. Also take Pristiq for depression and it works very well. The depression sets in when I can't do normal, everyday stuff; take a walk with my husband, play with our grandchildren, even standing, washing dishes can bring on muscle spasms in my back. I used to be very athletic and strong. Now, on a good day I might be able to work 1-4 hours but with breaks inbetween to rest.
I know this ailment is not as devestating as most, but the stress in my life, not matter how large or small only increases the pain level. I'm not trying to sound like a "poor pitiful me". I would like some ideas on what I can do to be more positive when the day is a bad one (re: my pain). ANd I'd like to hear the story of others who have challenges to face. I know we are not alone in the roads we have to travel. Ruby
