Cara-jean! I am very glad you are here! If you wouldn't mind, I would like to relate to a few points you shared.

 

I can relate to thinking that our depression is linked to negative events.  My mother was diagnosed with leukemia when I was in my early teens, and, needless to say, what an awful experience that was.  I imagine that it affected my development, because I have been effectively parenting myself since then. 

 

 I think that my first major depression episode was at 15, when I first felt truly helpless and hopeless, and did not understand why I should continue.  I then found this quote, and chose to keep going:

I found that I was feeling better as my mother's health improved, but I soon thought that I was "over"-reacting to other negative events which, to me, were seemingly mundane in comparison.  In addition to feeling bad, I was beating myself up for not being stronger about facing "small" things. I liked how Josie wrote about how depression can become chronic; I found that very validating. [NOTE: I abandoned this notion! I can't control my feelings, but I can learn what to DO about it!]

 

As the years passed, I found that I would experience a major depression episode every 2-3 years.  When my mother died last summer,  I knew that I would have to be active in order to not 'really experience chaos,' and I reached out to friends and family more than I have ever have.  Unfortunately, it was not enough, as new events rolled in - extended family issues, my father deciding to move to the other side of the globe, etc.

 

I congratulate you for starting meds.  I finally consulted a new physician and was prescribed medication for six months.  [I had been prescribed meds in the past, but I never followed through because of myths and misconceptions] I knew that it was time for me to try this route, and, coincidentally, I began meds the same day as I started this program in early January.  I am *very glad* that I have stuck with both programs, and over the course of the past two months, have been experiencing improvements I never thought were possible.  Again, I am very glad you are here!

 

I do hope that you "try us out" for a while and post again! We're rooting for you!

Cara,

 

You have taken the first step in coming here.  We are here to support you in any way we can, so keep posting!

 

There are several causes of depression. Depression is clearly associated with stress, negative life events and problems in living. Stressful life events have been found to be associated with general health and well-being.

Research has shown that people report an increased number of stressful life events in the weeks leading up to a depressive episode. Any change in the environment, even a positive one, can result in the experience of stress. So, for example, the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, or the end of a relationship can all be considered as significant stressful events.

However, even positive changes such as marriage, promotion at work, birth of a child, going away to school, or moving to a new home can also cause stress.

The most common problems in living in adult life include the break-up of romantic relationships, conflict, disagreements and disputes in relationships at work or home, role transitions (adolescent to adult, student to employee, single life to marriage, parenthood, children leaving home, retirement), death of a loved one, financial problems, unemployment, racism, discrimination, harassment, bullying, poor physical health, and any number of traumatic events.

Stressful life events have specific effects on stress hormones and neurotransmitters in our brains. The effects of stress hormones on the brain may even increase a persons vulnerability to depression.

Depression is associated with specific problems with the balance of many neurotransmitters as well as physical, behavioural and psychological symptoms. It makes sense that the chemistry of the brain is changed in depression. We know that the body and the brain are not separate. How we feel, think and behave is related to changes in chemicals in the brain.

Maybe more importantly, it seems that experiencing depression actually changes how the brain responds to stress. It seems that once a person has had one episode of depression, their brain shows an exaggerated stress response to relatively minor stressors.

In other words, while an initial episode of depression may be triggered by a major negative life event, later episodes of depression may be triggered by more minor negative life events. Perhaps this is why depression can become a chronic problem.

It is important to know that we are here to help and that the program and CBT is also available through this site.  Take it one step at a time.

 

 

Cara-jean:

 

I was moved by your story.  You have a great deal on your shoulders, and clearly you are taking care of many people in one form or another.  I am so glad you came here and posted something, you need to find support for yourself in this tough situation.  You must be an immensely resourceful person, but even the most resourceful would be heavily taxed by what you have been through.  I am newly returned here so I won't say "welcome" but I will say it's a pleasure to learn about you and that I am sending my support.

Hello,  I am profoundly depressed and can't shake it. Yesterday, my family doc gave me some meds which I've started. But my depression is my reaction to so many negative events in my life that I just can't deal with them all.  I'll list a few of them here.   First, I lost two close friends to cancer in the past 18 months (the second one only 5 months ago).

 

My best friend for 45 yrs (I am 61) had some sort of meltdown and dumped me (and others). That was one thing I never thought could happen and it's been almost a yr, but I still miss her daily. She changed, though - I miss who she was, not who she's become. I spent a long time trying to help her, but it didn't work. I do NOT blame myself for this, but I can't help missing her tremendously.

 

My husband has major medical issues, (heart attack,stroke,diabetes,alcoholism and bipolar) and although he's okay right now, a crisis could happen anytime - and will happen, it's just a matter of when (so say our doctors). He had five years of illness with his heart and GI issues, and during that time we used credit cards to survive. We had to file bankruptcy recently because we simply couldn't cover the expenses. We used all our savings to try and pay it back, we have no retirement, no pension, no money, and his salary is not quite enough to pay our monthly living expenses. I work at home, but have been sick for a couple years - severe fibromyalgia, and unable to work enough to really make some money. So we are on the line - we own a house, but because we took out a second mortgage to try and pay down the cc debt, our monthly mortgage payments are more than half his take home pay. We don't have two cents to cover any emergencies. Our home is worth less than we owe on it, so we can't even sell it and move to something smaller. 

 

This is my second marriage, and my kids have started blaming me for the first breakup - they are both adults now, and I have no idea why this is happening- their father was verbally abusive and they know it, but it is and I can't do anything about it but let them sort it out themselves, but it is another source of deep pain. My daughter is barely letting me see my grandson, and finds fault with everything I do or say.   Two weeks ago, our 15 yr old dog died suddenly, and I had to deal with her body. She was old, sick and we knew she would go soon, but still, it was a shock and another loss. I think I could cope with the other stuff if I had financial security, but if anything at all happens we'll be finished- out on the street. In a strange twist both my and my husband's brothers have usurped parental property (legally, too), and thus we'll get nothing for inheritance- so we can't even count on THAT for some future help.  

 

I write a column but the organization just cut pay by more than half, and it was pretty poor before this. I now find it almost impossible to write ...

 

I feel trapped and hopeless. The situation in the world, and in this country, is also so upsetting.  I've become a hermit, just staying inside and struggling to function day by day. 

 

I have had two major depression epsiodes in my life before this, and cognitive therapy helped tremendously, so I am hoping it might help again, so that I have the strength to try and find some solutions to these problems. Right now, I have little desire to go on.