Monday to Friday are the same. Get up around 6.45, have a coffee and a cigarette and get the train to work. Work till 5.30 pm, wondering what I am doing there and why I feel so detached and unmotivated. Sometimes have to fight falling asleep at my desk. Go home. Try and find reasons not to go straight to bed. Maybe watch a dvd, play the guitar, mindlessly surf the web, play a video game, go for a walk and smoke (I don't smoke at home) . Bed time can be anything from 8 pm to 2 am.
Saturday and Sunday. More of the same. Spend time wondering why I look forward to the weekend and then don't enjoy it. Possibly go to my writing workshop on Saturday afternoon (though I've stopped that for the moment).
Once in a while I go to a film (usually Asian or French - I'm an arty type) alone, or go catch a band (also alone).
I spend a lot of time alone, that's how I prefer things to be.
I spend too much time home alone and too much time on the computer playing scrabble or on the forums trying to connect with people I don't even know will show up... sometimes I don't leave the house for weeks at a time. I enjoy my time alone... but suspect it is somewhat counterproductive :/ Next week I go back to work so I will still spend most of my time at home but will have the company of a very bright 3 year old and an entertaining 1 year old. We will go to playgrounds and such but I will still be alone as far as adult company. Sometimes the kids are way more engaging than the adults in my life anyway. They are a bright beacon for me.... even with the diapers and tantrums...
If you are just joining us feel free to post your
thoughts and say hello. These threads are a great place to start. The
purpose of these threads is to get to know members as individuals and
not as their disorder or addiction. After all, you are much more than
your disorder!
This week’s question may have a
lot of guilt around it but I want you to be honest with the support
group and yourselves; put the guilt aside. Keep in mind we are all
growing and learning together now let’s just look without attachment.
This week’s question is:
How am I spending my time? What do I do, who am I with, where am I, etc.? What does a typical week look like?
This question will lead into next week’s question but it is also interesting to discuss in its own right.
