Thanks, Fixit. You make a good point about needing to make things better, despite the fact that it may not be as bad as before.
I think I'm getting a better idea of how to rate the mood levels now. I guess I just needed some time to get a hang of it, have some time to gauge what the highs and lows feel like. I'm not used to paying so much attention to mood throughout the day!
K13, In my experience what you felt as a total low before only minimally matters. What you feel today is what your looking at. It's good to know that your not at your lowest point. That can give you inspiration in getting through what your experiencing now! Don't even think about the "suck it up" feeling if you can. that is basically a negative thought. "oh this is nothing like before so it shouldn't bother me" I'm no therapist by any means but when I get that feeling I convince myself that it may not be as bad but I still need to get to where I want to be, happy,motivated or for me just at peace! It's still going to take time,work and support! Just remember we're all here to talk to and give you support. That's what counts! Take care, FIXIT
I also don't like carrying a purse, so I got one of those small, softcover Moleskine notebooks. They come in a variety of sizes and are usually hardcover, but if you look around at bookstores they'll probably also have the smaller soft ones (the ones that say Volant). They are a little bigger than a credit card and fit really nicely in your back pocket without a big bulge
I'm a bit curious, does anybody have any tips for how to rate depression levels on the activity tracker? The whole number system is starting to psyche me out a bit. I have a thing about overanalyzing things, and I think I confused myself! Like it's very relative. I get reluctant to put higher numbers if I have a lot more room to go downhill with how I'm feeling, but then I think I've been putting lower numbers than what may be accurate the past couple days because it seems from them that I should feel fine but I don't. It's just that I've had very severe depression before, so I know how low it can get, and I feel bad marking my current depression levels anywhere near that. So if I mark it high, I feel guilt for even comparing how I feel now to how bad I've had depression before, but if I mark low, then I feel like I don't really have much to complain about right now and I should suck it up. Sorry, I'm complicating things!!!
I'm trying to come up with my own little definitions for the different number ranges (like 0-10 ranges from feeling pretty good to cautiously good, etc.), so hopefully that will help, but I was curious if anyone else had any ideas or ways of comparing that work for them. I mean, I really do understand why the number system is in place, because depression is a little different for everyone. I'm just overthinking it. >_< I don't know if anyone's familiar with the Brian Regan comedy act about not knowing what to rate his pain as in the hospital, but it's kinda like that!
I have some trouble keeping it on hand sometimes, too, especially with trying to make sure that no one would find it. I try to keep it with me, though, because sometimes when I try to put things in afterward, my current mood can influence my outlook on things from earlier in the day.
I'm able to fold it up and keep it in my jeans pocket all right; I'm a girl, but not too big on carrying my purse around a lot, so I don't really use that. Being a student, though, I'm fortunately able to keep it in my book bag during the day as well.
Maybe you could use a smaller scrap of paper to put in your pocket and just jot a note down real quick to transcribe on the real thing later on? Do you have a wallet you could just put a little slip of paper in? Writing a quick note on a little piece of scrap paper might not be so conspicuous, too, if there are other people around. Good luck keeping track!
I'm finding it difficult to keep my activity tracker handy - I'm trying to remember to do it once a day, at a given time, but even then, I forget what I was feeling, when, and what I was doing. Some of the major events of the day stand out, but I know I'm forgetting things. keeping it in a purse sounds like a dandy idea - but, being male, I don't carry one - unless a female member of the family hands it to me while they go into a change room or something... :)
Any other suggestions on how to keep it handy? it's kinda big and awkward to just keep in a pocket - and I'd rather not explain what I'm doing to folks nearby if I need to pull it out to write something down..
A little bit of encouragement goes a long way and gave me the boost I needed to go on and read through session two (lots of information!). I will have to read it twice because I'm having trouble concentrating. But it looks really good.
Good work on finishing session 1! Don't worry about not being on the same track. These discussions are on-going. Many members may be on the same stage as you and be encouraged to post in these discussions because you do. So keep it up! We are always here reading.
I too find that I feel worst in the morning. I've read somewhere that different people and different forms of depression have different symptom profiles and that some people feel much worse in the morning, rather than the middle or end of the day. It is called diurnal variation.
I find a walk in the morning really helps me. Wakes me up, helps me clear my head and to try and build an appetite. Meditation and uplifting music also help me too. I try to wake up a little earlier so I can do these things, which in reflection are self care and de-stressing activities. I also like that the rest of the world is still asleep, as are my flat mates and I have this little block of time, all to myself.
Also don't worry about "keeping up" or "being on the same track" as others. The most important thing is that you are here and doing something. Each little bit helps.
