Welcome back brightsunnyday... welcome back. I'm so sorry you are hurting again and feel so hopeless. And yet... you must still have some hope because you came back here. I see you've worked through a great deal of the program in the past but did not complete the sessions entirely. Several of the members are re-doing the sessions... I hope that you can join us for some support too. We do get it. We do understand. We are here to listen.
It's nice to see you again! However, it is not nice under the circumstances. I can really here the frustration and pain in all of your posts. It also sounds like you cannot find hope in getting better; this makes the situation so much harder. If you do not believe you will find relief then it can be a self fulfilling prophecy.
This program can help with mild to moderate depression. If you have already tried the program it can be beneficial to try again; yet, seeking professional advice from a therapist or counsellor might be the next route to take. I know in the past you have mentioned that it is very difficult for you to find in person counselling due to your location. I encourage you to further explore this avenue for support. We can figure this out together.
I was here about a year ago. I hoped to be done with depression. This program was my last hope. I didn't succeed. I am more aware now more than ever of how my depression has affected others and I can't handle the guilt. I can't stand hurting them anymore but if I were gone they would be sad. It's a no win. I don't know what to do next. The more I study myself in order to get better, the more I hate myself and I get worse.
