Hello to Everybody,
My name's Jack and I just joined the Depression Centre a few days ago. It was recommended to me by a counselor and I've got to admit that after doing the first module I have a better understanding of what depression is and I'm more motivated to face it.
This is my first attempt at getting help for depression. I've been dealing with what I think is depression since I was about 10-12 years old (I'm 27 now) but until recently I was pretty good at "managing" my symptoms (more or less just hiding them from others rather than dealing with them). It wasn't until a recent event that I decided I needed help before something bad happened.
My "depression" (quotations because I've never been formally diagnosed) has mostly come in episodes since I was a kid. It can last a week or it can last a couple months, but generally I know it's always there. My most recent episode was a few weeks ago and is what prompted me to get help by contacting an e-counselor. I'd recently graduated from my program and got a job in my field when this latest episode began to flare up. The position I was in was pretty demanding but I knew what I was getting into and when I wasn't experiencing an episode of depression it seemed pretty manageable. As time went on and the episode got worse, I would do all I could to get myself to work and eventually I would just park at the front of the building and break down and just not be able to go in. Things were getting pretty bad in my head and I had some pretty disturbing thoughts, which weren't new but somehow seemed more serious this time around.
A close friend of mine didn't quite understand what was going on with me but recognized that I needed help and she basically forced me to take the first steps to getting help by contacting an e-counselor. The few conversations I had with him made a huge difference to how volatile I was feeling and I was able to make getting help a priority. My close friend convinced me, against my better judgement, to be honest with my employer about what was going on and how I was feeling and to my surprise my manager was/is being extremely supportive (I get the impression that she may have personal experience with this type of situation). She told me to take whatever time I needed, or to resign if I needed to and that she would hold the position for me indefinitely - pretty incredible and not at all what I had expected.
I took the leave and have made dealing with my mental health my top priority - something I think I've subconsciously wanted to do for a really long time.
The thought of having each other as a support and a program that promises to make a difference gives me hope that someday I'll be in control of my depression (I don't know if you ever get rid of it).
That was a really long winded Hello, but I hope we'll get to know eachother a bit better and help each other out.
Thanks for having me and best of luck to all of you - the fact that we're here and not hiding from our problems is huge.
Jack.
