Hello all,
I've been here before under many other names and accounts. (Sorry about that researchers, I know I am messing up data). I change my e-mail regularly and my passwords often. I couldn't remember under which e-mail or password I was signed in lat time and I think that e-mail doesn't exist anymore, even. Also, I kinda wanted to start fresh, or over as it was. so here goes.
I am a new mom. I had my first child late in life. Kiddo is the greatest baby in the world. I have a great husband. I also think I have postpartum depression.
Of course I am going to do all the medical checking like I always do like get my thyroid checked...again and such things but at this point in my life I recognize the signs of depression.
I have had several depressions in my life. I have also struggled with anxiety disorders. I'Ve been in the mental health care system for more than half my life. I have so many different diagnosis to my name I can'T even keep track of them anymore. Seriously, I don't know what the general consensus is bout me anymore when it comes to doctors and psychiatrists and therapists. But oh well, I am me.
I've done the Dep. C. program before and the Panic C. program before and they helped. But I am dealing with a relapse so here I am again. Hmmm...I am repeating myself aren't I? I have trouble keeping track of my thoughts lately.
Anyway, I had my amazing baby in the past year. Kiddo was born prematurely and was in the hospital for weeks. It was tough but we got through it. I thought I was doing fine.
But the last few months, I have been exhausted, anxious, weepy, sad, uninterested, gaining weight, sleeping too much, I have no get up and go, I have trouble just bathing everyday, in fact, I don't anymore. I have trouble taking care of the house. It's a good thing Hubby is here. I feel bad about myself a lot. Sometimes I feel downright subhuman. I feel guilty al the time. Despite Hubby assuring me that I am a great mom I feel like the worse mom in the world. In short, I think I have postpartum.
So hello all, nice to meet you!