Hi all!
I am a 39 year old mom to 5, wife of 13 years, full time midnight worker. I have struggled with bouts of undiagnosed depression since my pre-puberty years, a traumatic event that was never dealt with in my late teens and bouts of post-partum depression that my family physician passed out meds like candy but never followed up on.
One year ago I was admitted to the psych ward at the hospital I used to work at. The admission was basically a 72 hour watch. My husband and the doctors were concerned about my stability and felt there was a possibility of a suicide attempt.
While I was emotionally distraught and overwhelmed at the time, suicide was not a consideration. I had just had a "straw that broke the camel's back" moment and could no longer keep my rage, frustration, hurt, fear, anxiety, sadness, self doubt, self loathing , exhaustion, humiliation etc contained. What started out as an argument with my husband quickly evolved into a simultaneous eruption of every emotion I had kept suppressed, quickly followed by an inability to stop crying and/or sleeping.
Since my discharge I began to see a psychiatrist for the first time in my life. She kept a careful eye on my meds and adjusted as needed until I began to feel "normal" again. She got me involved with a set of CBT group therapy sessions which were really helpful but ended before I was ready. She also wrote me off work so I could deal with getting myself better.
I have been back to work since August and am doing well. My meds are well adjusted and keep me on an even keel when I take them like I am supposed to. The switching back and forth between midnights and my days off sometimes makes it difficult.
I have come to DC hoping I can find the same benefit I did from the group therapy. I didn't feel ready for it to end at the beginning of the summer and still feel the need for the propping up it gave me.
At the beginning of this year, I had decided that 2012 was going to be the year of ME. To me, this means, dedicating time to my mental, physical and emotional health, so I can be a better me, for myself, my children and my husband. This is one step in that direction.
