Rebecca
I am very much in the same boat as you are. I am not physically self harming but emotionally I do work at being as unkind as I possibly could be to myself. For myself I know that the behaviour is very much settled in my relationship with my mother. It is strange but I really believe that many of my fears I have inherited from my mother.
You, what is your fear like when you are on your own and so lonely?
Rebecca, It is good to hear how much your daughter motivates you. That is an important thing to hold on to. I'm sorry mental health professionals have not been helpful thus far... perhaps you could try again? You stopped SI on your own before... sounds like fear got you to stop but what keptyou from using that as a coping tool for those three years? Where did that courage come from? Thanks for posting. I'm glad you are here.
I have my mum whom i live with and my brother. They have never reall been that supportive in the past but now they are being great.x I have no network of friends because somewhere down the line all my friends have hrown things at me, like in an argument they will throw the self harming at me etc.
i have been seeing my drs and nurse since i was 16 and nothing has ever helped me before only me. I stopped self harming by one night doing it too deep and i realised tha i could be leaving my daughter and tat happened before i got back in tuch with my family x
We're glad you found us and joined the Depression Center online community. I'm sorry to hear you've had such a difficult year. What is your personal support network like? Do you have friends or family you can reach out to? If not, have you reached out to a health care professional for help and support? What helped you through depression in the past?
Please take some time to work through the online program available to you here and post often to let us know how you're doing.
My name is Rebecca, i have suffered with depression for 13 years and 2013 has been one of the hardest years I have ever had and trust me its been hard. I self harmed for 11 years and somehow i managed to stop this would have been the third year running that i had stopped but unfortunately i have started again.
I can honestly say i really don't want to be here anymore, but i have a beautiful daughter who i have to make proud f me and i want to see her grow up xx