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Lifelong depression survivor still trying

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Keening,

Welcome to the program. CBT does take a lot of work and I want you to know many depressed and anxious people feel that their negative thoughts are indeed logical. Worriers are often very logical and intelligent - this often explains how they are able to come up with multiple stories to worry about. The thing is though logic can be very subjective. There are thoughts that can be clearly pointed out as illogical and these will be discussed in the program. Other thoughts, however, might not be that straight forward. In these cases it might be helpful to consider how your negative thoughts are serving you. If your thoughts motivate you and help you to view the positive aspects of life then you are less likely to be depressed. The key with CBT is that you learn to chose how you want to think and this directly impacts your feelings and behaviour. CBT gives you a choice. It is hard to learn new ways of thinking but once you do a veil will be lifted and you will begin to learn to see the world in a way that serves you not in a way that holds you back.

If you have any questions about the program please feel free to ask. Members who engage in the support group and program often have higher chances of success.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3

I understand the issues with meds and libido. Its cruel to have to give up sex to be relieved of depression.
That is why I am so happy with the Emsam patch I am on--it does not have that side effect and does a much better job controlling depression too. I also found that after a while my affect was very flat when I was on Zoloft, just dull.

I was prescribed some Seroquel--just a few tablets--but instructed to use it only if I felt suicidal, so I could just go to sleep for little while, and I have never used it. I hope you have good luck getting off. It sounds like you are pretty determined, though, so I am sure you will manage. My pdoc is very knowledgable about meds, so I find it strange that you are taking this regularly anyway. Are you doing this alone or is your doctor monitoring your withdrawal?

I am going to see a new psychologist next week to get some help kickstarting the CBT program. So much of it does not make sense to me I feel I need some guidance with it. The goal setting and "pleasant activity" tools look like they are going to help, provided I can keep them up. I'm only on week one, so no judging yet. It is helpful to hear of your experience, however. And yes, it seems like a lot of work...but nothing else has helped so I guess it is worth a try.

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 619

Hi keening, it is really nice talking with you

First of all I am weaning off my meds because my libido was severely affected and I understood the importance of having a sexual life again after almost 3 years without it. Probably I would be better with meds but I pondered the pros and cons and I am willing to take the risk, the risk of having a relapse.

I also used mood charts for the bipolar disorder but right now I am only using the mood chart here on DC.

Seroquel is really addictive especially with my sleep. I really cross my fingers for the withdrawal effects.

Regarding the CBT program here on DC I worked through the 9 week program and I can say that it is an wonderful program which have been helping me a lot. In my experience the trick with CBT is to take the tools that have been most helpful during the 9 week program and use these tools regularly for a long time (even a lifetime). In my case I update the mood tracker tool everyday and use other worksheets when I am feeling down and anxious. At first it seems a lot of work but it is like brushing my teeth, I got used to it and it really works.

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3

Thanks for the welcome, eleveno. I'm wondering why you are trying to wean yourself off of your meds? I understand if you think you can manage with mindfulness and yoga, but personally I think my condition is not manageable without the meds. And unfortunately, my experience with rapid cycling convinces me I am very likely Bipolar II. I've come uncomfortably close to mania before. I have been trying for several months to keep a mood chart that is more detailed than the mood tracker here, and it lists elevated moods as well as depressed ones. I'm hoping this will help my pdocs get me evened out. For years in my 20's and 30's I was a runner, without getting depression relief, but very driven to do it--my pdoc says I was chasing the endorphins but in my case it was the wrong drug, so wasn't going to work for me, even though that one has some real "feel good" properties. My goal is to become as close to normal and functional as I can. I think this can only happen with a more normal brain chemistry and mine just isn't. So, while I understand the need to be "drug free" I also get that some of us don't have that luxury. I also have very high cholesterol and have managed to get that down to normal with diet, but in order to do so, I have to be starved down to an unhealthy weight. I don't want to take statins, which I consider unsafe, so I tolerate an elevated cholesterol, which I don't like either. I can't tolerate the depression. I can't function or work, which I have to do to survive. Seroquel is pretty strong stuff, isn't it? I use Zaleplon occasionally when I can't sleep. My pdoc says they use it for soldiers in the field who have to wake up and function right away--it doesn't last long and doesn't leave you groggy. Only keeps you asleep for 4 hours and then it is gone from your system. Are you working through the program here? Has it helped you? I am starting and find it hopeful, although I can only see myself doing it when not profoundly depressed, so in between episodes.

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 619

Hi keening,

Welcome to the forums! I came to realize that I had to thought about controlling the symptoms of depression and anxiety instead of thinking in a cure because we have this tendency to get depressed and anxious. The combination of CBT and a daily yoga practice alongside with medication when needed has been of great help with me.

I thought also that I was hypomaniac, but this was not true. It was an attempt to explain why I felt in certain ways sometimes. We all experience mood swings, it is part of life but this doens't mean we are bipolar. An hypomanic episode is clearly something that other people notice because the behaviour changes dramatically.

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3

Hello all, I've had my mood disorder since I can remember, and have been treated for years with medication that is now poorly controlling my symptoms. I am on the 12mg Emsam patch, plus Lamictal and Abilify. Recently divorced after 30+ years of marriage, a staggering blow, and I would say substantially related to my illness. Never had success with CBT before because my negative thoughts seem very logical to me, and my training as a lawyer encourages me to focus on worst case scenario and prepare for that. I am currently desperate for treatment options and frightened of what might be next for me, since I'm already on pretty strong medication that isn't working. Family history includes suicides, so clearly mine is a genetic problem. I think I am hypomanic, so have occasional relief, but live in constant fear and anxiety, knowing the next depressive episode is right around the corner, and the depression is profound. I become bedridden.

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