Hi Ashley
Thank you for your lovely reply . It is so sad because I think I do have a great capacity to be happy. I am loving and generally very patient with people. I love being with people and being part of their lives. But this thing is eating me up. I cannot get rid of the property I have invested in and every day it costs me more money with endless troubles associated with it. My mental state is poor because there is very little I can do about it. My work is suffering as my capacity is very low. I have very few people to talk to as I find that they get caught up in the practical circumstances about which little can be done. My children are very upset about it and busy with their own lives, so I don't talk to them. I'd rather keep quiet as the people in my life get upset about the practical implications and in the process do not focus on just comforting me - which I think is what I need. I am also obsessing a lot about the problem, spending hours on the internet, looking for a solution, for which there is none.
Rina
I am sorry you are going through this. It is clear you care a lot about the people in your life as you say you don't want to cause pain to anyone. Hold on to that. The people in our lives and our experiences is what is important. Money does make things easier but it is not as relevant to our happiness as many people thing. As long as we can provide the basics of survival and you have a few strong relationships then that is really all you need. Focus on what's important. That may mean reevaluating your current life. That is ok. Many people are struggling finacially right now that does not mean you are a failure. Look towards what you can gain from this experience and what you can learn. If you are not able to do that yet that's ok. Talk to people who can help with the problem solving and with the grief of this loss. You will get through it and you will be stronger because of it.
What is going through your head now? Can you tell us more about the situation?
Hi everyone
I feel like a worthless failure. I am not young anymore and have made quite a bad investment and stand to loose everything. I am experiencing fear, dispair and humiliation. Everything is just becoming too much. It is not so much that I want to commit suicide, it is more that I want to stop existing without harming or causing pain to anyone close to me.
